Apollo nudged his partner. "Come on, let's get out of here." "Where to?" asked Starbuck as they left the viper bay. Apollo took his hand. "The Commander's office. I have some news for my father." "Are you sure?" Starbuck asked uncertainly. He really didn't want to get on the Commander's bad side, and he was afraid that if Adama didn't approve of his and Apollo's relationship, that's what would happen. "I'm sure. I don't want there to be any hiding, any secrets. I love you and I don't care if the entire fleet knows about it." Starbuck shrugged in a slightly fatalistic manner. "If you say so." He followed his lover down the corridor. "Hey, Pol, can I ask you something?" "Ask away," Apollo replied. "Why didn't you ever contact me when I was assigned to the Triton?" "Contact you? I wrote you letters. I sent you radio messages whenever we were in range. You never answered me." Starbuck frowned. "I never got any messages. I sent plenty to you, though." Apollo stopped walking and turned to face Starbuck. "You sent me messages?" "Hundreds." The Captain frowned. "I never got any. That's why I thought, when you came aboard the Galactica, that you didn't want me anymore." Starbuck looked thoughtful. "Apollo, was Commander Telin a friend of your father's?" "Yes," stated Apollo. "Do you think - oh, Lords, Starbuck. My father already knows! He and Telin must have intercepted our messages." Starbuck tried to calm his friend. "He might think he knows something. We have to find out what he knows, and what he only thinks he knows." "What did you say in the messages you sent me?" Apollo wanted to know. Starbuck turned slightly pink. "How much I loved you. How much I wanted you. How I couldn't wait until we were together again." Apollo smiled a bit sadly and touched Starbuck's cheek. "I said the same things in my letters to you. I didn't know that you never received them. I thought that you didn't love me." The blond warrior pulled his lover into a quick hug. "I always loved you, and I will always love you." "And I love you," said Apollo. "Let's go talk to my father." Apollo was angry. His father had tried to keep him and Starbuck apart - and had succeeded for almost eight yahrens. He'd been convinced that Starbuck didn't love him, and had allowed himself to be set up with various women, mainly ones his father had picked out for him, the most recent being Sheba, Commander Cain's daughter. Obviously Adama thought that he and Sheba would be a good match. It was getting so that Apollo couldn't stand the sight of Sheba. He wondered what she would think when she heard that he and Starbuck were together. Striding into his father's office without even ringing the door chime, Apollo said, "Father, I have some questions for you, and I want some answers." Starbuck was beside him, holding his hand and trying not to look as nervous as he felt. Adama turned from the screen where he had been dictating his latest log. "All right," he said calmly. "What do you want to ask me?" "Did you prevent me from receiving any letters or radio communications from Starbuck when he was serving on the Triton?" Oh. Adama hadn't been expecting this, but he knew he should have been. Starbuck and Apollo were bound to have discussed this at some point. He took a deep breath. "Yes." It was no use denying it. "And did you ask Commander Telin to prevent Starbuck from getting any of my messages?" A nod. "Yes." "For frack's sake, why?" Apollo demanded. "You know that mail was always read by censors during the Thousand Yahren War," Adama began. "And the censors were always very discreet, since they handled extremely personal mail, of course. Well, one day one of the censors found something that he thought should be brought to my attention - a letter to you from Starbuck. It was quite explicit." "I see," commented Apollo dryly. "After that, I asked the censors to bring to me any letters from you to Starbuck or from Starbuck to you. I also asked the commander of the Triton to intercept any radio communication from you, to tell you that Starbuck was not able to take your calls." "You still haven't explained why." Adama sighed. "I thought your relationship with Starbuck was a youthful infatuation. I believed that, in time, you would get over it and move on to more - normal - relationships." "With women," stated his son. "Yes." "Why didn't you stop his transfer to the Galactica, then?" "I delayed it for as long as possible, but I couldn't keep putting it off indefinitely. Starbuck was - is - one of the best pilots in the fleet. He could have any assignment he wanted. And by then, you were dating Mara and I thought you had forgotten him." "But why did you want me to forget him? Why did you want to keep us apart?" "I just told you, so that you would form more normal relationships." "Nothing about my relationship with Starbuck is abnormal." Turning to Starbuck, Adama asked, "Lieutenant Starbuck, do you have anything to say?" Surprised, Starbuck answered, "Just that I love your son. Have loved him ever since we were in the Academy together. And nothing you say or do can ever change that." "How long have the two of you been - lovers?" Adama asked his son, saying the word as if it caused a bad taste in his mouth. "Actually, we haven't been lovers in the entire time Starbuck has been on the Galactica. We didn't know about the little deception you pulled on us. I thought he didn't want me. He thought I didn't want him. We only realized today that we were wrong, that we've loved each other all along." "What changed today?" the Commander inquired, curious in spite of himself. "Starbuck told me that he loves me. He was worried about my behavior - seems I've been acting a little bit reckless lately. He told me that he couldn't stand to see anything happen to me because he loves me." "And have you been acting reckless?" "Actually, I have. I was trying to impress you. And, frankly, I didn't really care if I got hurt or killed. I didn't think I had anything to live for - I'd lost my mother and my brother. I'd lost Serena, who was someone I thought I might be able to love, but I never got the chance to find out. I thought I'd lost Starbuck's love. Seems I was wrong about the last one, though." Starbuck winced when he heard those words coming from the man that he loved. If only he'd had the courage to say something before now. Thank the gods that he had, finally, told Apollo of his feelings before it was too late. He squeezed Apollo's hand and received a loving look in reply. A look that told him he had nothing to worry about. "Apollo, I had no idea!" the Commander exclaimed. "Of course you didn't. It seems that you have very little idea about what goes on in my life. If you had, you would have known that my feelings for Starbuck were and are a hell of a lot more than youthful infatuation. We were lovers the entire time we were at the Academy - four yahrens, Father. We haven't been together for the past eight yahrens, but we still love each other as much as we ever did. I had hoped we could have your blessing, but I have the feeling that isn't going to happen." Adama groaned. "Apollo, it just isn't right. Men sleeping with other men - it's not natural." "And flying around the universe in huge metal ships is natural?" asked Apollo sarcastically. "Apollo, you're obviously not thinking clearly. If what you're telling me is true, you must be ill - depressed. Go talk to Dr. Salik. He can give you some medication, something to make you feel better." "Father, I believe I am thinking more clearly than I have in yahrens. I'm not depressed. I'm happier than I've ever been. Knowing that Starbuck loves me is better medicine than any anti- depressant Dr. Salik can prescribe." "Apollo, please, take some time to think about this," Adama urged him. "I've done enough thinking to last a lifetime. It's time I stopped thinking and allowed myself to actually *feel* something. And what I feel is love - for Starbuck. I'm sorry that you don't approve, but I'm too old to live my life depending on my father's approval. Let's go, Starbuck. We're finished here." And the two warriors walked out of the Commander's office. When they reached Apollo's quarters, the Captain fell heavily into a chair. "That went well," he said with a sigh. Starbuck started massaging his shoulders. "I'm sorry," he said simply. Apollo looked up at him with a smile. "I'm not." "You're not?" asked Starbuck in surprise. "I'm glad I confronted him. I've played the part of the devoted, obedient son for too long. After what he did to us, I don't care if I never speak to him again." "You don't mean that, Apollo. I know you're mad right now, and Lords know you have every right to be, but he's your father. He's family." Apollo drew him down for a kiss. "You're my family, Bucko. The only family I need." Just then Boxey arrived. The two warriors quickly moved apart. "Hi, Dad. Hi, Starbuck. What are you doing here?" "Boxey, Starbuck is going to move in with us, if that's all right with you," Apollo told his son. "I am?" the Lieutenant asked. "I don't recall you asking me to move in with you." "Then I'm asking you now." "Oh, well, since you ask, sure, I'll move in with you. If it's all right with Boxey." "It's all right with me, but where are you going to sleep?" the boy asked. Starbuck blushed and looked away. "Starbuck will sleep with me, Boxey," Apollo answered. "Good," said Boxey. "I didn't think there'd be any place for him in my room, with me and Muffit. And you won't be lonely anymore, not with Starbuck here to look after you." Just then there was the sound of a door chime and Athena walked in. "Apollo, I want to talk to you," she said. She noted Starbuck's presence. "Alone." "Anything you have to say, you can stay with Starbuck here," her brother answered. "Are they going to fight?" Boxey asked Starbuck. "I hope not," Starbuck told him. "But I think we'd better let them have their discussion in private. Come on, I'll take you to the Rejuvenation Center." Apollo caught his arm as he was leaving. "You don't have to go," he said. "It's all right. This is between you and your sister, and I don't think Boxey needs to hear it. You can fill me in later." He gave Apollo a quick kiss and left. "So it's true," Athena commented as Starbuck and Boxey left. "You and Starbuck are lovers." "It's true. Are you upset? I know that you and Starbuck were close once." "No, Starbuck and I broke up a long time ago. I always knew his heart belonged to someone else. I didn't know that someone was you, though. What bothers me is the argument you had with Father." "Athena, Father tried to keep me and Starbuck apart. He read our private mail to each other. If he read those letters, he knew how much we loved each other, but all he cared about was that his oldest son wanted a man and not a woman. He says it's not normal." "Apollo, that happened a long time ago. He's not a young man, you know. He's bound to have some rather old-fashioned attitudes. Can't you forgive him?" "I could, if he wanted my forgiveness," Apollo told her. "But he refuses to see that he did anything wrong. I don't even need him to approve of me and Starbuck, if he would just accept us." "Give him time, Apollo. He'll come around. He's used to having everything his way, remember. But he loves you. You know that." "I know, Thena. But it's going to take a lot of time just for me to forget what he did. I don't hold grudges. It's not my style. But this - this is going to be hard. I've loved Starbuck since we were cadets, and Father kept us apart for all those yahrens when we could have been together, could have been happy." "Are you happy now?" Athena asked. Apollo smiled for the first time since she'd arrived in his quarters. "Yes, I am. We are. Very happy." Athena returned the smile. "Good. That's what really matters, isn't it?" "I guess it is," Apollo admitted reluctantly. "Listen, I'll go pick up Boxey from the Rejuvenation Center so that you and Starbuck can have some time alone, okay?" she offered. Apollo laughed, but turned a little red. "Thanks, sis." "You're welcome." Several sectares passed. Relations didn't improve between Apollo and his father. Starbuck moved in with Apollo and Boxey and they became a family. The other warriors learned about the relationship between the two of them and for the most part were supportive. Sheba actually left Apollo alone and turned her attentions elsewhere. Athena was as close to her brother as she had ever been, and became close to Starbuck, too, treating him as another brother. In general, Apollo was happy, but he did miss his father sometimes. He'd attempted to talk to Adama a couple of times, and Adama still insisted that the relationship between the two warriors was wrong, deviant, 'unnatural.' At one point Apollo even searched through the text of the books of Kobol, trying to find reference to same-gender relations. There were tales of close 'friendships' between two males or two females, sometimes the word 'love' was even used, but Adama insisted it was the love of friends, not lovers. Eventually Apollo gave up trying to get his father to accept him and Starbuck together and only spoke to the Commander when it was related to matters of duty, and then only when he couldn't get Colonel Tigh to do it for him. The fleet had gone for quite some time without encountering any Cylons when, one day, the klaxon sounded red alert. Apollo and Starbuck headed out to lead their respective squadrons. They always worried about each other when they had to go in to battle. They knew that there was always the risk one of them might not come back. They quickly embraced before getting into their vipers, parting with a kiss and saying, "I love you" before heading out to join the fight. The battle was long and nasty. Several vipers were damaged, but fortunately none badly enough that it couldn't make it back to the Galactica. Finally the remaining Cylons retreated, and the remaining warriors were about to head back when Starbuck realized he hadn't heard from Apollo in quite some time. "Apollo? Are you all right?" he called on his radio. No answer. "Boomer, you see Apollo's viper anywhere? I can't get hold of him, maybe his radio is damaged." Boomer scanned the area around them and couldn't find any sign of Apollo. "Think he went back to the ship?" he asked Starbuck. "I don't know why he wouldn't have told us, if he had," Starbuck answered. He radioed the Galactica, asking if Captain Apollo had returned. Omega replied that he hadn't reported in. "All right, Apollo, where the frack are you?" Starbuck muttered. He told Boomer and Jolly to return to the Galactica, but Boomer insisted on staying to help search for their missing Captain. Unfortunately, neither of them had much fuel left, and, reluctantly, they had to return to the Battlestar. Word had spread quickly that Apollo was missing. Adama met Boomer and Starbuck in the viper bay. "Is it true?" he asked, worry etching lines on his face. "Is Apollo missing?" "It's true, Commander," Boomer answered. Starbuck hung back, uncomfortable around Apollo's father. "He's just missing? There's no sign that he - " Adama didn't finish the thought. Starbuck stepped forward. "Commander, no vipers were destroyed during the battle. A few were damaged and they made it back to the Galactica. Apollo must have tried to lead the Cylons away from the ship and run out of fuel. It's happened before." Indeed, it had. Apollo had ended up stranded on Equellus. If it hadn't been for the fact that another Colonial viper had crashed there yahrens before, with fuel remaining in its tanks, Apollo might never have made it back. "I'll send out patrols to look for him," Adama said. "We'll find him, sir," promised Boomer. "I'll find him," Starbuck put in. The Galactica came to a full stop and the patrols went out. But they had no luck. "How far could he get?" Starbuck wondered. "Starbuck, if he crashed, if his ship is damaged, we might not be able to pick up a signal," Boomer reminded him when they landed on the Galactica to refuel. "Frack!" Starbuck pounded his fist against a wall. He turned away, trying to hide his tears from his friends. "I take it there's no news," came Commander Adama's voice from behind him. Starbuck wiped his eyes and turned to face him. "No, sir. I don't know where else to look." "Starbuck, what if you took the experimental viper out? The one that we refitted for long-range patrol?" Adama suggested. "You mean C.O.R.A.?" inquired Starbuck. "Yes. There's enough space for it to carry two people. You know that it has no laser generators. But you're the best pilot we have - if anyone can dodge the Cylons, you can. And Dr. Wilker has upgraded C.O.R.A. with new scanning equipment." "I'll take it, sir. It sounds like our best shot at finding him." Starbuck boarded the refitted viper. His friends wished him luck before heading out on their own patrols. He saw Adama standing below him on deck. "Find him, Starbuck." "I will, sir." Adama knew that Starbuck would not give up. He hadn't given up when Apollo was missing on Equellus, and had flown until he was almost out of fuel himself. He just hoped that if Starbuck didn't find Apollo, he would come back to the Galactica. He hated to admit it, but he was rather fond of Starbuck, even if he didn't approve of the young man's relationship with his son. He didn't want to lose both of them. Using C.O.R.A.'s new abilities, Starbuck thought he detected signs of a ship on a large asteroid in what would have been just at the end of a regular viper's fuel supply. The computer tried to discourage him, but he over rode her protests and set his viper down. There, he found a crashed viper with Apollo inside. He ran to his lover and checked him for injuries. "Apollo, can you hear me?" Apollo opened his eyes. "Starbuck?" he whispered. "Yes, love, it's me. Can you move?" The captain shifted slightly. "Ouch," he protested. "Hurts." "Frack," swore Starbuck, not for the first time. "How bad is it, Pol?" Apollo tried to move again, and he succeeded in moving a bit farther this time. Starbuck jumped up on the viper to get a closer look at him. He was pretty banged up, and probably dehydrated - he'd already been missing for close to a day, with no food or water supplies. Running his hand over Apollo's head, he discovered a good-sized lump - Apollo had probably bashed his head on the console when he crashed. Somehow he managed to get Apollo out of the damaged viper and into his own craft. Then he pushed the viper to the limits of its speed capabilities getting him back to the Galactica. He radioed ahead for a medical team to meet them in the viper bay. Dr. Salik and Cassiopia met them, as did Athena, Adama and several of the other warriors. While they waited in the Life Center for Dr. Salik to treat Apollo's injuries, Starbuck turned to Adama. "Permission to speak freely, sir?" he asked. "Go ahead, Starbuck," answered Adama in surprise. "Sir, Apollo loves you. He was angry over your keeping our letters from each other, but he got over that a long time ago. He's even given up on ever getting your blessing, or even approval, of our relationship. All he wants now is acceptance. He claims he doesn't care what you think of him, but he does. It's tearing him up inside. I know that you care about what happens to him - you showed that today. But you showed it to me - not to him. He needs you, sir. Can't you put aside your petty prejudices for your own son?" Starbuck took a deep breath and prepared to be blasted. "Starbuck, I did a lot of thinking when Apollo was missing. I thought we had lots of time to get through this - this stupid dispute we've had. I realized today that we may not have all that much time. I could have lost him with all of this unresolved between us. I can see how much you love him. I know that you would risk your life to save him. How can I disapprove of my son's relationship with someone who would do all that you've done for him? " "Again, Commander, you're saying all this to me - how about saying it to him?" Just then Salik came in. "You can see him now," he said. "How is he?" Starbuck demanded. "Lots of bumps and bruises, a nasty crack on the head, a mild concussion, dehydration, but nothing life-threatening. You got to him just in time, Lieutenant. He'll be fine." "Thank the gods," Adama breathed. "Do you want to go first, Commander?" Starbuck asked. "Why don't we both go in?" Adama suggested. So Starbuck and Adama went in to see Apollo together, which surprised the Captain considerably. "I must be in worse shape than I thought," he commented. Starbuck sat next to his bed and took his hand. "I was sure worried about you, buddy. How did you get separated from us out there?" "Two Cylons tried to cut me out of the fleet. They must have recognized me as the squadron leader. I got away from them, but I didn't have enough fuel to get back." Starbuck kissed him. "You scared me," he said. Apollo looked up at the Commander, who was standing nearby looking uncomfortable. "Father?" Adama came closer. "Apollo, I have a lot to apologize for. I realize I haven't been at all supportive of you these last few sectares. I realized today that I could have lost you. Life is too short for me to behave in such a childish way. I've been selfish, thinking only of myself and my reputation. You deserve to be happy, and if being with Starbuck makes you happy, I will have to accept it." Apollo squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Father." "Don't thank me. Thank Starbuck. He's the one who found you, and also the only one who dared to tell me what an old fool I've been." "Did you really?" Apollo asked. "Not in those exact words," Starbuck demurred. Apollo gestured for his lover to come closer, then whispered something in his ear. A broad grin split the Lieutenant's face. "Are you sure that's what you want, Apollo?" At the Commander's puzzled look, Starbuck said, "He just asked me to marry him. Shouldn't I be asking you for his hand or something?" Adama laughed. "I would be happy to seal the two of you, if that's what you both want." "It's what I want," Starbuck quickly agreed. "Apollo?" asked Adama. "Yes. It's what I've wanted for a long time. It wasn't that long ago that you accused me of having a death wish, Starbuck. Well, now I have a life wish, and my wish is to spend my life with you." The two men kissed. "I love you, Apollo." "Love you too, Bucko." END