Apollo walked into the Officers' Club, searching for a familiar face. Spying the one he was looking for, he headed for a table in the far corner. There he found Starbuck, nursing a glass of beer. He seemed somehow subdued, but not drunk. "Hi, Pol," Starbuck greeted him listlessly. "Hi yourself. What's wrong? You look kind of down." The Lieutenant shrugged. "Nothing's wrong. Just in a contemplative mood, I guess." "Contemplative?" asked Apollo. "Somehow, 'contemplative' is not a word I associate with you." Starbuck snorted. "Of course not. What would good old Bucko have to contemplate? I never have a thought past where my next drink or my next woman is coming from." "I didn't say that," Apollo protested. "No, but you thought it. You and everyone else in the fleet. All of you believe that I never had a thought in my life that wasn't shallow and self-centered." "That's not true," his friend objected. "Isn't it? When you were seeing Serina you used to tell me how much you enjoyed *talking* to her. You went into raptures over the books that she'd read and the discussions you had about them. You never ask me what books I read." "You read?" asked Apollo, realizing too late how it sounded. The blond man stood and threw some money on the table. "Of course not. I don't have time to read; I'm too busy drinking, gambling, and whoring." He walked out of the Officers' Club. "Starbuck, wait!" Apollo called after him, but it was too late. He was gone. When Apollo caught up to his wingmate, Starbuck was sitting on his bunk in the Bachelor Officers' Quarters, his attention absorbed by the book he was reading, one he must have obtained from the ship's library. The Galactica had already had a library before the Destruction, mainly made up of books on battle tactics and the history of the Thousand Yahren War, as well as religious books, such as the Books of Kobol. The refugees had added to it with the books they'd retrieved from the wreckage of their homes or libraries when they joined the fleet. Most of them didn't have room to store many possessions in the refugee ships, and were happy to donate their precious books to the Galactica library. Apollo glanced at the title. "You're reading Sirius?" he asked, naming the well-known philosopher. "I'm impressed." "Don't be," Starbuck answered. "I'm just looking at the pictures." Apollo removed the book from in front of his face. "I've read this particular volume, and I know there aren't any pictures in it." "Busted," sighed the Lieutenant. "Why didn't you ever tell me you read the philosophers?" Starbuck shrugged. "Didn't want to destroy your image of me." "I think my image of you can stand a little stretching. I've been unfair to you. I'm sorry." "You don't have to apologize. I never bothered to correct anyone's ideas about me." "Why didn't you?" "Apollo, I didn't have a fancy education like yours. I was schooled in the orphanage and in the nearest public schools. I read everything I could get my hands on, but that wasn't much. The orphanage staff barely had enough money to feed and clothe us - they didn't have anything to spend on books." "There was a library in town," Apollo reminded him. "Do you know what happened when us kids from the orphanage ventured into town? The townies were just lying in wait for us, ready to beat us up because we were different. A couple of library books I'd borrowed were ruined when a town kid jumped me. I couldn't pay to replace them, so I wasn't allowed to borrow any more books." "I'm sorry," Apollo murmured. "When I got to the Academy I read what I could, though most of what I could get my hands on was pretty dry - biographies of great warriors, histories of famous battles, stuff we used in class. But it was something. Then when I joined the fleet, I suddenly discovered a whole new world open to me because I had money. Just a lowly warrior's pay, but it was more money than I'd ever seen in my life." "So that was where the drinking, whoring and gambling came in," Apollo added. Starbuck smiled ruefully. "Yeah, that was where most of it went. Most of my friends had those interests too, so I never bothered trying to talk to them about books or reading. But every once in awhile, I'd buy a book. Might just be a popular novel, but it was mine." He opened the small cabinet next to his bed. "There's my collection - what I didn't give to the library, that is. I don't have much room for books in here, so most of what I've collected over the yahrens has either gone to the ship's library or been passed on to someone else. I even had a few children's books that I sent to the orphan barge." Apollo nodded to the book now lying face down on the bed. "So what do you think of Sirius?" he asked. That led in to a two-centare long discussion and debate of the philosophers' ideas. Apollo was impressed. He'd never seen this side of his friend before. Starbuck seemed quite open to the philosopher's quite radical ideas. One controversial subject covered in his work was the idea that men made much better lovers for other men than women did, except of course when procreation was desired, though Sirius didn't understand why anyone would want to have children. He seemed to believe that children would distract a man from the pursuit of higher knowledge. He didn't appear to consider that women might want to pursue higher knowledge also. Sirius had written that warriors made the best lovers, and lovers made the best warriors. They would always want to protect each other in battle, and to Sirius' mind this would lead to fewer losses. All that was needed was an army made up of lovers. While Apollo didn't believe in the superiority of one gender over another, he did agree to some extent that men made better lovers than women. Not all men - just the men whose desires tended that way. He'd had a few male lovers before his marriage, and found he preferred their lovemaking to that of his female lovers or even his wife. His greatest love, though, was and always had been Starbuck. Ever since they'd first met as young cadets, he'd been drawn to Starbuck, and not just physically. But he'd never known how Starbuck felt about men who preferred men, and didn't want to risk losing his friend if he came out to him. And even if Starbuck had been inclined that way, he didn't know if the two of them were suited for that kind of relationship. He had been drawn to Serina's knowledge of books and they'd had many fascinating discussions about various authors they'd both read. He hadn't thought he could have that kind of discussion with Starbuck. Impulsively, he found himself reaching out toward his friend. He had to be careful. One false move and he could blow everything. Starbuck could be turned off, disgusted. He could lose Starbuck forever. He cupped Starbuck's cheek in his hand. "Star ..." He didn't know what to say. Starbuck grasped his hand and lowered it from his face. He didn't appear frightened or disgusted. "What is it, Pol?" he asked. Suddenly, Apollo lost his nerve. "I have to go," he blurted. "I - I'll talk to you later." But Starbuck wouldn't let go of his hand. "Hold up, Apollo. Let's stop running." "R-running?" stammered the Captain. "I run away from you, you run away from me - I'm tired of it. Let's actually *talk* to each other for once." "I don't think I can," Apollo protested. "What are you afraid of?" "I'm afraid that I'll lose you. I'm afraid that you'll hate me." "I could never hate you, Pol. You're my best friend, my wingmate, the most important person in the universe to me. What could ever make me leave you?" "I'm in love with you," Apollo blurted. Starbuck smiled. "And that's supposed to make me hate you?" "I want to sleep with you." Still holding on to Apollo's hand, Starbuck raised it to his lips and kissed it. "I want that too." The darker man swallowed hard. "You really want that? You want - me?" The love of his life nodded, still smiling. "I want you. And I love you." "How long? How long have you wanted me? How long will you want me?" "Forever. I have loved you forever, and I will love you forever." "Star, oh Star, you don't know how happy this makes me, how much I wanted this, how - " Starbuck pulled on his hand to get his attention. "Apollo." "What?" "Shut up and kiss me." So Apollo did. END