"I do NOT want to see you again, Starbuck!" Cassiopeia shouted at him. "I've had enough of your fracking around! Go, and don't darken my door again!" Starbuck slunk out of Cassie's quarters like a daggit with his tail between his legs. He'd tried to explain to Cassie that the reason he'd missed their date the night before hadn't been because he'd been with Athena. He'd fallen asleep in Apollo's quarters while reading to Boxey, and for whatever reason the Captain hadn't seen fit to wake him. "I figured you needed your sleep," his friend had said. He knew that the med tech had every reason to not believe him. Sometimes he thought he wouldn't believe him if he were someone else. His reputation was well-earned. He returned to his own quarters with a sigh. At least he didn't have to live in the BOQ anymore. He was met by an urgent summons from Apollo. "Starbuck, I need you!" said the message. Starbuck forgot Cassiopeia in an instant. His friend needed him. Of course, the way Apollo needed him was probably nothing like the way he dreamed Apollo might want or need him. Still, he'd do anything for his wingmate. "Thank the Lords you're here, Starbuck. I need a *really* big favour from you," Apollo greeted him when he arrived. "What can I do for you?" Starbuck asked. He knew it was useless to hope for anything more than Apollo's friendship, but he'd been a dreamer since he was a small boy. Very few people knew that about him now that he was an adult, of course. "I have a date with Sheba in about fifteen centons, and Athena just informed me she can't babysit. *She* has a date, too. Can you look after Boxey for a few centares?" At least Apollo wasn't asking him to keep Boxey overnight. Wait a centon. Athena had a date? With whom? Apparently there wasn't any hope of his going back to Athena now that Cassiopeia had thrown him out. "Starbuck?" Apollo asked. "Oh, yeah. Sure, I'd be glad to spend a few centares with Boxey. Enjoy your date." "Thanks, Bucko," Apollo said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You're a good friend." Yes, that's what he was. A friend. Always a friend and never anything more. Now wasn't the time to think about that, though. Boxey deserved his full attention. "So what would you like to do, kiddo?" he asked. "Can we go to the agro ship? Where they have all the plants?" Boxey asked. "Sure thing," Starbuck agreed. He had to admit to a fondness for the agro ships and the hydroponics bays himself. They were almost like some of the forests and groves they'd had on Caprica. He'd been found in one of those forests as an infant. Maybe that was why he felt at home there. Once they were on the ship, Boxey wasn't content to just look at plants. He insisted on stopping to talk to everyone who worked there. Most of the gardeners and other staff tolerated him. He was the Commander's grandson, after all. One of the older gardeners, Booth, beckoned to them. "Bring the young one over here," he said to Starbuck. "I've something to show him." They went into a small shed where they discovered a mother felix surrounded by kittens. "A felix!" Boxey exclaimed. "Oh, she's so pretty! And she has kittens!" He petted the animal, who showed her appreciation with a purr. "These kittens will be needing homes of their own," the gardener said. "I'll probably keep some of them for rodent control, of course, but I don't need all of them." "You hear that, Starbuck?" Boxey hinted. "I don't think a felix would get along well with Muffit, especially a baby one," Starbuck told Boxey. "Not for me!" Boxey corrected him. "For you! You live by yourself. You need someone to keep you company." A felix wasn't exactly what Starbuck had in mind to keep him company, but it didn't sound like such a bad idea. "When will they be ready to leave their mother?" he asked. "About two sectons from now. You have one in mind?" the older man asked. One of the kittens, a calico, was rubbing around Starbuck's legs and purring. He picked her up and scratched her behind the ears. "This one seems to have *me* in mind," he answered. "Tri-coloured felixes are good luck," Booth told him. "A very good choice." "I'll come back for her in two sectons," Starbuck promised. "Feel free to come visit her before then," the gardener told him. "Let her get used to you before you take her back to your quarters." So Starbuck made the arrangements to come back and visit the calico kitten before adopting her. He wasn't entirely certain how he'd managed to get himself a pet, but maybe Boxey was right. His quarters were kind of lonely. The company would be nice. Felixes usually didn't mind spending time alone while their owners had to go to work. "Owners." Hah. No one owned a felix. Usually, they were owned by them. And from the way that felix had behaved, Starbuck had the feeling that he'd just been adopted. When he returned Boxey to Apollo later that night, he refrained from mentioning the felix. He didn't know why, but he felt like keeping that information to himself for the time being. He told Apollo about their visit to the agro ships without mentioning the felixes. He then asked how Apollo's date had gone. "It was good," the Captain answered. "Sheba's a pretty interesting person once you get to know her." Interesting? Starbuck thought. Out loud, he said, "Well, I'm glad that you had a good time." "Speaking of good times, I guess now that Athena has a new boyfriend, you'll be concentrating on Cassie." "Cassie broke up with me," Starbuck told him. "Sorry to hear that," Apollo said, trying to sound sympathetic. "Did she have a reason?" "Last night when I fell asleep here, I missed a date with her. She thought I was with another woman. Hey, maybe you could tell her I was here. She wouldn't believe me when I told her." "She probably wouldn't believe me either, Bucko. She knows I'm your best friend." "But you're the Strike Captain. You're the Commander's son. You're a father. People like you don't lie." "Tell that to Cassiopeia," Apollo answered. "Please, Apollo." "Starbuck, I really don't want to interfere in your love life. I'm sure you have plenty of other women just waiting in the wings. It never takes you very long to find someone. Put you down on a planet, and within a centare you've attracted half the female population." *And probably a significant portion of the male population, too* Apollo thought but didn't say out loud. "Thanks a lot, *pal*," Starbuck muttered as he left Apollo's quarters. Starbuck was angry, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stay angry for long. He was never able to stay mad at Apollo. The Captain was still his best friend, and still the one that he loved more than any other. No matter how much Apollo teased him about his love life, or anything else, he still loved him and would do anything for him. Apollo was his wingmate, and it was his job to protect him. He would give his life for Apollo in a micron. For the next couple of sectons, Starbuck spent much of his free time on the agro ship visiting the kitten that had chosen him. Apollo noticed his absence. "I guess you found someone new," the Captain commented. "You could say that," Starbuck replied. He hadn't told Apollo about the felix. He didn't want his wingmate to start making fun of him for that, too. "Well, whoever she is, I hope it works out for you." "I'm sure it will, Apollo." "Have you given her a name yet?" the gardener asked Starbuck on the day he arrived to take the kitten home. Starbuck realized that he hadn't. He thought long and hard before finally blurting, "Calypso." He didn't know where the name had come from, but the kitten seemed to like it, because she gave him a head-butt and purred. Over the next few days, Starbuck spent most of his time in his quarters with his new feline companion. Still, he missed spending time with Apollo, so he approached his wingmate after patrol one day and asked him if he wanted to go have a drink in the OC. "I don't have time for a drink, Star, sorry. I'm seeing Sheba tonight." "You've been spending a lot of time with Sheba lately," Starbuck noted. "You've been spending a lot of time with your new lady friend too," Apollo replied. "What's her name?" "Calypso," Starbuck told him. "Blonde, brunette, or redhead?" Apollo wanted to know. "A little of all three," Starbuck answered. "All three?" Apollo asked in confusion, but Starbuck had already left. Starbuck went to the Bachelor Officers' Quarters looking for a Pyramid game. He noticed that several of the officers were standing in a group, and appeared to be laughing at something. As he got closer he realized that one of the men was entertaining them with some sort of story. It was Kaleb, Athena's new lover. "Let me tell you some of the other things Athena says about Starbuck,." the man was saying. "Things like what?" Starbuck asked as he reached the group. Kaleb turned around and saw Starbuck there. "Er, nothing important," he mumbled as he hurried off. The rest of the group looked embarrassed. "So, did Kaleb have some interesting stories to tell about me and Athena?" Starbuck asked. No one answered. Starbuck turned and walked out. When he got back to his quarters, he received an enthusiastic greeting from Calypso. "At least *you* love me," he sighed as he stroked the felix. Calypso curled up on his lap and purred. A few days later, when Starbuck arrived for patrol duty, he was surprised to discover that his duty assignment had been changed. "I'm going to fly a few patrols with Red," Apollo told him. "Red Leader is sick so I'm going to take over for a few days. Boomer will be Blue Leader while I'm gone. I want you to be Sheba's wingmate." Starbuck couldn't believe that he'd been assigned a new wingmate. Apollo was his wingmate and had been since before the Destruction. They were used to each other. They were a team. Who would look after Apollo's safety if not him? Patrol was nothing short of a disaster. The squadron didn't encounter anything they couldn't handle, and Boomer was a perfectly competent leader, but Starbuck was used to Apollo. He and the Captain could communicate almost telepathically. They needed few words to convey their intentions to one another. He had no such connection with Sheba. Their patrol consisted of one mis-communication after another. After patrol was finished, the squadrons met in the OC. Sheba was soon informing everyone within earshot of what a lousy wingmate Starbuck was. She recited a litany of his faults to anyone who would listen. Few people did, but no one bothered to argue with her. Not even Apollo. Apollo was there, drinking with the members of Red, and he certainly should have been able to hear what Sheba was saying, but he made no move to silence her or defend Starbuck. "Ignore her, Starbuck," Boomer encouraged him. "I'll re-assign her for tomorrow's patrol. You can fly with Jolly until Apollo comes back - I'll take the Pegasus Princess myself." "Thanks, Boomer," Starbuck sighed. He wondered why no one was defending him. Didn't he have any friends left? He finished his drink and returned to his quarters. Calypso was there waiting for him. She greeted him by rubbing around his legs and 'talking' in a series of high-pitched, squeaky "meows." Starbuck's bad mood instantly lessened. "Glad to know that someone's happy to have me around," he told the felix as he dished out her food. He decided to invite Boxey to come over to visit the next day. He was sure the boy would enjoy playing with Calypso. To Starbuck's surprise, however, when he asked Apollo if Boxey could come over, the Captain told him, "It's really nice of you to offer to take him, Starbuck, but Boxey's spending the afternoon with Sheba. Maybe another day." Sheba? Boxey was spending time with Sheba? Maybe Apollo and Sheba's relationship was more serious than he'd first thought. He made his excuses and left just as Sheba was arriving to pick up Boxey. He couldn't help but overhear some of her conversation with Apollo. "Was that Starbuck who just left?" she asked. "Yes, he invited Boxey to visit him," Apollo told her. "Why do you let Boxey hang around Starbuck? Don't you think he's a bad influence on such a young boy?" "Bad influence?" Apollo sounded surprised. "Starbuck's practically family." "I know you have a sentimental attachment to him, since you grew up together, but really, you know the reputation he has. Drinking, gambling, whoring... The man's worse than a daggit in heat when it comes to women. In fact, I'm surprised you even continue to be his friend." Starbuck didn't wait to hear the rest of the discussion. The way Apollo had been acting lately, he doubted his former wingmate would defend him. He hurried away, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone he knew. He didn't hear what Apollo said to Sheba in response. "Why are you always criticizing Starbuck? You've been on his case an awful lot lately, and I can't understand why." "I don't understand why you continue to spend time with him," Sheba countered. "Because he's my friend. My *best* friend. He's as close as a brother to me - closer, in fact." "You're always defending him," Sheba complained. "I haven't defended him nearly as much as I should have," Apollo answered. "Last night in the OC I ignored what you were saying, hoping you'd stop when no one paid attention to you, but I should have said something. I'd hoped that pairing you as wingmates with him would show you how good a warrior he is, let you see another side of him, but obviously it didn't work." "From what I saw of him yesterday, he's not that good." "That's because he's used to me - we're used to each other." "There you go, defending him again," Sheba whined. "I really don't know what your problem is, Sheba. Why does Starbuck annoy you so much?" "Why? Because he's obviously in love with you! You don't see it, do you? The way he's always following you around, trying to score points with you by being nice to that bratty kid of yours, never letting you out of his sight.... You mean you haven't seen the way he looks at you? I thought the entire fleet knew it!" Stunned, Apollo tried to take in what Sheba was saying. It made no sense. First she'd said Starbuck was an unsuitable friend because of his ways with women, then she said Starbuck was in love with him. If only it were true that Starbuck loved him! He'd loved his friend for a long time, but because of the Lieutenant's behaviour with women, he'd never risked telling him of his feelings. Instead, he'd begun seeing Sheba. Now he was regretting that decision. "Sheba, I think you should leave now." "What about Boxey? I was supposed to take him to the Rejuv Centre." "After what you just called him - I believe your words were 'bratty kid' - I don't think that's such a good idea." Sheba stormed out of Apollo's quarters. Apollo watched her leave, muttering, "Good riddance," under his breath. He wondered if there really was a chance that Starbuck might love him. But didn't Starbuck have a new girlfriend? Calypso, he'd said her name was. Funny that none of them had ever seen her, but maybe Starbuck was tired of having his love life be a subject of gossip around the fleet. After the stories that Kaleb had told the members of Blue, he didn't blame Starbuck for wanting to keep his personal life private. Back in his quarters, Starbuck tried to put Sheba and Apollo out of his mind, but even Calypso's entertaining antics failed to distract him. Finally, he took out his personal log. He kept it as a journal of sorts, writing down the thoughts and feelings he didn't feel able to share with anyone. He wrote about his love for Apollo and the pain he'd felt when his friend hadn't defended him in the OC. He wrote for several centons, only putting the book down when the felix started attacking his pen. A few days later... "What's happening, Apollo?" Starbuck asked as they got into their vipers. Thank the Lords that Apollo was back in Blue Squadron again and back as his wingmate. "Sensors detected something on the planet below," Apollo informed Starbuck, as well as Boomer and Sheba, who were joining them. "It might be a Cylon installation. We're supposed to check it out." "Is the Commander sure that's safe?" Starbuck asked. "Four warriors won't be a lot of defence against an entire Cylon installation." "That's why we have to get in and out of there as quickly and quietly as possible," Apollo told him. "We check it out, see what it is, and if we have time, set a few explosive charges. The explosions should keep them occupied long enough for the battlestar to get close enough to fire laser cannons at the installation itself." "Sounds risky," Starbuck observed. "That's why the four of us are going," Apollo replied. "Colonel Tigh says we're the best." Starbuck nodded in silent agreement. Even if he didn't like Sheba as a person, he had no complaint about her performance as a warrior. Boomer he'd known for yahrens, since the Academy, and he knew he was good. Apollo, of course, was the best. That was why he was Strike Captain. He also had confidence in his own abilities, but wouldn't actually say so out loud. Still, it was good to have confirmation from the brass. On the planet's surface, the four warriors worked quickly and efficiently, assessing the installation and then setting the charges. They had just finished and were returning to their vipers when a Cylon centurion appeared seemingly out of nowhere. It stood almost face to face with Apollo who was in the lead and slightly ahead of the other three warriors and about a metron away. The Cylon raised its weapon and aimed at Apollo. "Apollo! No!" Starbuck cried out as he threw himself forward. The Cylon weapon struck him instead of Apollo, who drew his own weapon and destroyed the Centurion. Apollo dropped to the ground at his wingmate's side. "Starbuck...." he whispered. He felt paralysed. Starbuck had just saved his life. Had he given his own life to do so? Boomer and Sheba came running. "Apollo! Starbuck!" they were yelling. Apollo mentally shook himself as Sheba checked Starbuck's neck for a pulse. "He's alive," she announced. Apollo lifted his injured friend in his arms. "Then we'd better get back to the Galactica so that he - and all of us - stay that way. I'll take him in my viper." Fortunately for the warriors, no other Cylons appeared to prevent them from getting to their vipers and returning to the battlestar. As Starbuck was being rushed to the Life Centre, he whispered Apollo's name. "I'm right here, buddy," Apollo said, grasping his wingmate's hand. "Apollo... will you... will you look after Calypso for me?" Starbuck asked. "Anything you want, my friend. Where can I find her?" "In... my ... quarters," Starbuck whispered as he drifted into unconsciousness. When Starbuck was taken into surgery, the doctor shooed Apollo out. The Captain was too restless to stay in the waiting area, so he decided to go to Starbuck's quarters and talk to this Calypso woman. He was surprised to hear that she was sharing quarters with the Lieutenant, but then he hadn't spent a lot of time with Starbuck lately. He'd been too wrapped up in Sheba's web. He knocked on the door of Starbuck's quarters, but received no answer. Well, maybe she was out. He'd let himself in and wait. He knew the lock code; Starbuck had given it to him when he'd first moved in to his own quarters. Once inside, the first thing Apollo noticed was the food dishes and litter box on the floor. Starbuck had a felix? A small calico felix appeared from under the couch. "Mrrrup?" asked the animal. "Well hello there, little one," Apollo said as he picked her up. He saw she wore a collar with a tag attached. Reading the tag, he saw that it said, "Calypso" and gave the number of Starbuck's quarters and his contact number on Stellar Com. This was Calypso? Well, Starbuck had never actually said that she was human. He'd just said she was female. Calypso squirmed, so Apollo let go of her and went to the cupboards where found a bag of food. He poured the food into one of the dishes and filled the other with water. Then he noticed the felix jumping around the furniture. He had a vague memory of a felix he'd had in his childhood that had done things like that. His mother had referred to the behaviour as "kitten crazies." A book crashed to the floor from one of the shelves above the couch. "Bad felix," Apollo said as he picked up the book. It was some sort of logbook, and it looked a lot like one that Starbuck had used in the Academy to write notes in during classes. Maybe he'd kept it for nostalgia's sake. Apollo opened it and tried to decipher Starbuck's handwriting. When he had deciphered his friend's writing and begun reading, Apollo realized that this not a notebook for keeping notes from Academy classes. It was a personal journal. However, now that he'd discovered that, he was too intrigued to stop reading. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. What he'd discovered was too important. He'd discovered that Starbuck loved him. Oh, he'd known already that Starbuck loved him - the fact that Starbuck had risked his life for him was proof of that. But he'd always thought it was the love of a brother. He'd never dared to hope that Starbuck might love him as a lover would. He'd thought that was too much to dream of. He'd satisfied himself with Starbuck's friendship and gone on with his life, dating, marrying, being widowed and dating again. After making certain that Calypso had enough food and water to last overnight, Apollo gave her a scritch behind the ears and returned to Life Centre. Starbuck had just come out of surgery. "How is he?" Apollo asked in worry. Starbuck couldn't die now! Not now that he'd just discovered how much Starbuck loved him. "His condition is guarded," Salik told him. "He made it through surgery, which is the first big hurdle. Now we wait and see." Apollo went and sat at Starbuck's bedside and waited for him to wake up. Eventually, Starbuck did so. "Hey, Bucko," Apollo greeted him. "How do you feel?" "Feel... not much," Starbuck answered. "That's probably because of the drugs they've given you." "How's Calypso?" 'She's fine. I think she misses you, though." "You're looking after her?" Starbuck asked. "Yes, I fed her and filled her water dish. I'll go back and check on her again later. I wanted to be here when you woke up." "Why?" "To thank you for saving my life, of course." "It was nothing," Starbuck muttered. "It wasn't nothing. You saved my life at the risk of your own. That's a pretty big something." "I couldn't let you die. I lo... never mind." Starbuck lay back and closed his eyes. Apollo gripped his hand. "Starbuck, I need to tell you something." Starbuck didn't open his eyes. "Are you getting Sealed to Sheba?" he asked in a voice so quiet that Apollo almost didn't hear him. "No, I'm not getting Sealed to Sheba. I broke up with her." The blond man's eyes opened slightly. "Really? Why?" "Because she's not the one I really wanted, and I finally realized that. I didn't like the way she was always putting down my friends... putting you down. She said some pretty lousy things about you and I let her get away with saying them. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry that I didn't stand up for you." Starbuck sighed. "I'm a big boy, Apollo. I can take care of myself." Apollo leaned in close. "But I want to take care of you." Starbuck's eyes opened all the way this time. "You want...what?" "To take care of you. To make all your pain go away. To live with you for the rest of my life. To be by your side in all things, always." Starbuck's voice trembled as he asked, "Apollo, what are you saying?" "I'm saying that I love you, and I wish I hadn't waited until you almost got killed to say it." The drugs that Starbuck had been given were making him very sleepy, but he forced himself to stay awake. "Apollo.... Are you sure?" "More sure than I've ever been about anything. I love you. When I saw that Cylon shoot you, I thought that if you died, I would die. I don't ever want to lose you. Please tell me that you feel the same way." He knew what he had read in Starbuck's logbook, but he needed to hear the words from the man himself. "I love you, Apollo. I always have, and I always will." With those words, Starbuck drifted off to sleep. "Thank the Lords," Apollo murmured. He lay his head on Starbuck's chest and dozed off himself. A couple of days later...... Apollo walked into Life Centre, holding the wiggling, mewing Calypso under his jacket. "Shush," he said to the felix. "Do you want to get us both thrown out of here? Calm down so I can take you to see your pet human." Starbuck woke from his nap to find his best friend and new love standing over him. Apollo's jacket was moving. "Um, Pol? Your jacket seems to be alive." The Captain grinned and opened the jacket. "I brought you a friend," he said and removed the kitten, placing her on the bed. "Calypso!" Starbuck exclaimed in surprise and joy. Calypso walked up his chest until she could butt her head against his. Then she licked his nose. Finally, she settled down, curled up under his chin, and purred. "She's happy to see you," Apollo observed. "I'm happy to see her, too," Starbuck answered. "And I'm happy to see you." Apollo bent to give him a kiss. "When are they letting you out?" he wanted to know. "Not for a few more days. Salik is worried because I live alone. I don't have anyone to bring me back here if anything goes wrong." "Tell him not to worry about that. You can move in with me and Boxey. I was going to ask you to move in anyway." "What about her?" Starbuck asked, indicating the furry body curled up under his chin. "How do you think Muffit will react? He's a lot bigger than she is. He could hurt her unintentionally." "Muffit couldn't hurt a flea. That is, if he had any, which he doesn't. He's programmed not to hurt any living creature except to protect his owner. Speaking of fleas...." "No, Calypso doesn't have any fleas." "Good. Will you - both of you - move in with us then?" "Why do you want me to move in with you?" Starbuck asked. He knew that Apollo had said he loved him; it was just so new to him he had to keep asking for reassurance that it was true. "Because I love you, idiot," Apollo answered. "You're so romantic, Captain. And I love you, too." "So will you move in with me?" Starbuck looked at Calypso. "How about it, Baby Girl? Want to go live with Uncle Apollo? Yeah? Good." He turned back to Apollo. "Yes, we will move in with you. But make sure Boxey keeps an eye on Muffit, just in case." Apollo smiled happily at his lover. A few more days later.... Starbuck watched in frustration as Apollo carried his things into their quarters. He knew that he was still recovering from his injuries, but he hated that he couldn't do anything to help. Apollo put the box down and went to his mate. He took Starbuck in his arms. "Something wrong, love?" he asked in concern. "Just fed up with how long it's taking me to recover," Starbuck groused. "Beloved, you almost died. That you recovered at all is a miracle. Give it time." "I know, I know. I'm just impatient." Apollo hugged him, then released him. "Come on. I'll put this box in our room then you can try out the bed." "I'm not sleepy, Apollo." "Who said anything about sleep?" When he realized what Apollo meant, Starbuck hurried after him. As Apollo put the box down in a corner of the bedroom, a familiar book fell out of it. It was the logbook that he'd read the night Starbuck had been shot. "What's this?" he asked, feigning ignorance. Starbuck took it from him. "It's personal," he said, placing it on a shelf. "Okay," Apollo said with a shrug. When Starbuck began to unpack the box, he said, "Do you have to unpack right away?" He patted the bed. "I want you here so I can hold you." Starbuck grinned at him. "Let me use the turboflush and I'll be right there." While Starbuck was in the washroom, Apollo sat on the bed and looked at the small book that, in a way, had been responsible for bringing them together. Calypso jumped up on the bed and looked too. "Don't tell him I read it, okay?" Apollo asked the felix. Calypso curled up on a pillow with a mysterious smile on her face. END