Diefenbaker woke from his late afternoon nap to the smell of smoke
drifting through the Consulate.  His human packmate had left to run an
errand for the female human he worked for and had left Dief behind. Then
the female human and the other male human had gone home and left him
alone. He'd been having a very pleasant nap until this rude awakening.

The half-wolf got up and looked around. He saw flames. Well, obviously it
wasn't a good idea to go that way. He turned and crept down the hall,
crouching as low as he could to avoid the smoke. More smoke, more flames.
This was not good. He couldn't see much, and the smoke was hampering his
sense of smell. Finally, he found the door. Locked.  He could sometimes
open an unlocked door, but not a locked one. 

The fire was spreading. Dief went to every door he could find, but none
allowed him out of the building. Finally, he jumped through a window,
shattering the glass. Then he ran as fast he could away from the fire,
shedding bits of glass as he went.  He would come back and find his human
later. 

Ray Kowalski hurried through the crowd of firefighters outside the
Consulate, showing his badge. "Chicago PD!" he announced to anyone who
would listen. When he finally got the attention of the fire captain, he
asked, "Was there anyone inside?" 

"No, officer," said the captain, who was much calmer than Ray was at the
moment. 

"What about a dog?" Ray demanded.

"Dog?"

"The guy that lives there is a friend of mine, and he has a dog. I
wondered if anyone had found the dog." 

The captain called over one of his firefighters and asked him a question.
Then he turned back to Ray. "No, officer, no one has seen any sign of a
dog." 

Well, maybe wherever Fraser had gone, he'd taken Diefenbaker with him. 

That theory was quickly shot down, however, when Fraser arrived. Ray could
see him standing, stunned, at the edge of the crowd of firefighters and
spectators. "Fraser!" the blond man called, hurrying to his side. 

"Ray ... what happened?" the Mountie asked.

The detective shrugged. "Looks like an electrical short circuit. Guess the
Ice Queen and Turnbull already left for the day. Firemen said there was
nobody inside when they went in." 

"What about Diefenbaker?" Ray could see Fraser's anxiety about the wolf
and hurried to reassure him.

"Nobody saw any sign of him inside, so he must've got out somehow."

"Then where is he?" Fraser wanted to know.

Ray shrugged. "Maybe he went off chasing rabbits somewhere."

"He might be hurt. I have to find him," Ben stated and started walking
around the building. Ray followed. For once Ray was sorry there was no
snow on the ground - Dief would have left tracks if there were. But the
two men found something else. "Blood," Fraser stated. He looked up and saw
the broken window. "He must have jumped through that window and cut
himself on the broken glass." 

"Shit," muttered Ray. He was fond of the wolf and hated to think of him
being hurt. 

Fraser was striding off into the woods. "Whoa, there, Fraser," Kowalski
said, hurrying after him.  "It's night. It's dark. You don't even have a
flashlight. How do you expect to find him?" 

"DIEFENBAKER!" the Canadian called as he continued walking. "Diefenbaker!" 

"Frase, he's deaf, as you keep reminding me. He can't hear you."

Finally, the Mountie stopped walking. He sat down hard on the ground and
buried his face in his hands. Ray was astonished to see that Fraser was
shaking. He sat down next to his partner and put an arm around his
shoulders.

"What am I going to do, Ray?" Fraser asked. "Diefenbaker is hurt, and I
don't know where he is, I don't know how to find him. What will I do
without him? He's the only friend I have in Chicago ... except for you, of
course." 

Ray hugged his partner close, trying to comfort him. "Don't think like
that, Fraser," he admonished. "He probably cut himself going through the
glass, but obviously he wasn't too hurt to run away. All the people and
the flashing lights and everything probably scared him, so he took off for
awhile. He'll come back. If he's not back here in the morning, we'll go
look for him then. But for now, you're coming home with me." 

"I have to stay here, in case he comes back," the Mountie protested. 

"Nuh-uh, Fraser. You're in shock, for God's sake!" He hauled his friend up
on to his feet. "Now don't argue, just come with me." 

Fraser stood and followed Ray to his car.  He moved like a zombie. Ray was
worried. 

When they got to his apartment, Ray asked, "Have you eaten anything?" 

"No ... I don't think I could," came the reply.

"Look, Frase, I know you're worried, but you need to keep your strength up
if we're going for a hike in the woods tomorrow. I've got some soup. It's
canned, but it should be easy on your stomach. Think you could eat some?" 

"I could try."

So Ray made the soup and gave Fraser a bowl, taking one for himself.  He
was pleased to see that Fraser ate the soup, though he did so reluctantly. 

After they finished eating, Ray tried to think of ways to cheer up the
dejected Mountie, but none of them seemed to work. Finally, he decided to
just call it a night. They should get up early in the morning anyway, and
he doubted Fraser would get any sleep. This led to a problem, though: 
sleeping arrangements. Ray and Ben had been dancing around their feelings
for each other for several months. They flirted sometimes, and they'd gone
out on what might be considered 'dates', but they'd never so much as
kissed, let alone slept together.

"It's getting late, Fraser. May as well hit the sack. You take my bed -
I'll sleep on the couch." Ray went into the bedroom to strip his bed and
put clean sheets on it. Fraser followed him in. 

"You shouldn't give up your bed for me," the Mountie told him.

"No biggie, Fraser. You're my guest."

Then, to Kowalski's astonishment, Ben leaned forward, pulled Ray around to
face him, and kissed him. And what a kiss. Ray thought his brain was going
to short circuit. He was quite certain that his toes curled. When his
partner released him, he sank to the bed. When he was capable of rational
thought again, he asked, "Okay, what was that all about?" 

Fraser sat on the bed next to him. "Why don't we share the bed?" he asked.
"Perhaps if we made love ... it would take my mind off things for a
while." 

The detective couldn't believe what Fraser was offering. He also couldn't
believe what he was about to say in response to that offer. "No." 

"No?" Ben asked in astonishment. "Don't you want me?"

"Oh God, Fraser, I do want you. So much. But not now. Not while you're
vulnerable. Not when you're an emotional basket case. I don't want our
first time to be about taking your mind off anything." 

Fraser tried to kiss him again, but Ray pushed him away. "No, Fraser," he
said. "Later, after we've found Dief and made sure he's okay - then we'll
talk about it. But not now." 

"Fine. I'll be on the couch." Fraser walked out of the bedroom and slammed
the door behind him. 

Ray finished making the bed, stripped to his shorts and crawled between
the covers. "I hope I haven't just completely screwed things up with
Fraser," he said to himself. He fell into a fitful slumber. 

About an hour after he dozed off, the bedroom door opened. "Ray?" came a
whisper. 

The blond man opened his eyes. "Fraser? That you?"

"Yes, it's me. I hope I didn't wake you," his partner said apologetically. 

"Don't worry about it. Something wrong?" 

"I wanted to apologize for the way I behaved," Fraser said haltingly. "It
was inappropriate. I'm sorry I put you in such an awkward position." 

Ray smiled. "Apology accepted. Come here." He patted the bed beside him. 

"I thought you didn't want..."

"Fraser, I don't want to have sex with you tonight, but there's no reason
we can't share the bed.  It's big enough for two." 

So Fraser climbed into the bed, slightly nervously, Ray thought. 

"Everything okay?" Ray asked.

"As okay as it can be, I suppose," sighed the Mountie. "Ray - may I ask
you something?" 

"Shoot."

"Did you mean it when you said that you wanted me?"

"Yes."

"So do you think, when things are better - if we find Diefenbaker - we
might ..." 

"Do the wild thing?" Ray asked with a grin.

"That isn't how I would put it, but yes," responded Fraser.

"If you want to."

"I do want to. Very much."

"Fraser, could I hold you?" Ray asked shyly.

"I would like that," his partner answered.

Ray wrapped Fraser in his arms, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

"Night, Fraser."

"Good night, Ray."

And the two of them slept like that until morning.

Much too early the next morning, Ray's alarm went off. He reluctantly
released Fraser from his embrace and went to find some clean towels so
that his partner could take a shower. "Would you like to join me?" Ben
asked teasingly as he stepped into the shower. 

Ray groaned. "Fraser, if I join you in that shower, it'll be a very long
time before we get out of here to look for the wolf." 

"You're right." A frown appeared on the Mountie's face. "What was I
thinking?" 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up," Ray told him. "It wasn't a bad idea, just
bad timing." 

"Diefenbaker is out there somewhere, he's hurt, and I was thinking of ..."
Fraser's voice trailed off. 

"Look, Frase, let yourself be human once in awhile, huh?" 

But his partner had already pulled the shower curtain and was running the
water. With a sigh, Ray went to make breakfast. 

When Fraser came out of the bathroom, he'd shaved and dressed. "Are you
okay?" Ray asked. 

"No," answered Ben miserably.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I nearly lost Diefenbaker once before because I was thinking with a part
of my body other than my brain," Fraser explained. "There was a woman ...
she shot him. And I was going to run away with her, and leave him behind.
I don't know how he could have forgiven me for that." 

"That was the Metcalfe woman?" 

"Victoria, yes."

"And Dief forgave you, even though you were going to leave him," Ray
commented. 

"Yes. I don't know how he could, but he did."

"You're his partner, you're his best friend, right?"

"Yes. He saved my life, you know."

"Pulled ya out of Prince Rupert sound. Yeah, I know. Guess Dief's the
loyal type. Look, Fraser, I don't understand wolf psychology, but I think
he feels responsible for ya. Like you need him to look out for you." Ray
smiled. "He probably thought you needed him more than ever after that." 

"Perhaps you're right," Fraser agreed. "I did need him." Ray moved over
and kissed him. 

"Eat your eggs, then let's get going."

In the woods some distance from the Consulate, Diefenbaker awoke. He
yawned and started to stand, and a pain in his leg reminded him of why he
couldn't. He was caught in a trap. He'd smelled his two human packmates
the night before, but had been too far away for them to hear him barking
for them to come and rescue him. He hoped they would come back. He was
getting hungry. He lay his head on his paws and dozed some more.

Suddenly, he smelled something. It was a human, but it wasn't one of his
packmates. It was a strange human. He didn't like the way this one
smelled. He carried the smell of blood on him, blood and death. Dief
growled. Then he caught another scent. Yes! It was his humans this time. 
He barked and howled, hoping that Ray and Fraser would find him before the
bad-smelling human did. 

Not far away, Fraser stopped walking, stood still, and listened. "Ray! I
can hear him!" 

Ray stopped and listened too. "I hear it. This way."

As they hurried toward the place where Dief was trapped, they noticed a
man ahead of them. He appeared to be a hunter of some sort, carrying a gun
and the carcasses of some small animals. He gave Ray the creeps. 

Dief heard someone approaching. He hoped it was his packmates, but it was
the bad-smelling man instead. "So, I caught a dog," the grunted in
disappointment. "What a waste of a good trap."  He raised his gun and was
about to pull the trigger when Ray slammed into him from behind. 

"Chicago PD," Ray announced, showing his badge. "This your trap? Guess
what, it's illegal." 

"What are you, a game warden?" grumbled the man.

"Nope, just a cop who doesn't like people who shoot my friends," Ray
answered. Seeing Fraser tending to Dief, he asked, "How is he?" 

"His leg is quite badly hurt. I need some help freeing it from this
trap." 

"Okay, hang on just a second." Ray took the hunter's name and address for
future reference, He didn't want to waste time taking him to the precinct
when Dief would need to go to a vet as soon as possible. 

Ray turned to where Fraser was trying to comfort the wolf. "How bad is
it?" he asked quietly. 

"Bad," answered his partner succinctly. 

With a few muttered curses aimed toward the man who had set the trap, Ray
helped Fraser open the nasty steel jaws and release Dief's leg. Fraser
lifted the wolf in his arms and hurried to Ray's car. For once he didn't
bother to remind his partner of the city speed limit as they sped to the
closest veterinary hospital. 

Dief was quickly taken into surgery as the vet muttered something about
'damned leg-hold traps.' All that Ray and Fraser could do was wait. So
they waited. Trying to comfort his friend, Ray took Fraser's hand in his
and held it. Ben gave him a small smile, and Ray squeezed his hand. 

"Hey, Fraser," said Ray after they had been waiting for awhile, "have you
thought about where you're going to live until they've fixed the fire
damage at the Consulate?" 

"No, I haven't."

"You could stay with me, if you want," Ray offered.

"Thank you," said Fraser, touched by the offer. "I'd like that. So would
Diefenbaker." 

After what seemed like a very long wait, the two were finally allowed to
see Diefenbaker. The wolf was groggy, but managed a wag of his tail when
he saw his packmates. His injured leg was securely bandaged. Fraser was
almost in tears as he talked softly to him and stroked his fur. 

"Glad to see you're all right, Dief," said Ray cheerfully.

As if he had just remembered the detective was there, Fraser turned to
him. "Thank you, Ray,"  he said simply. 

"For what?"

"For helping me find Diefenbaker. For letting me stay in your apartment.
For ... for just being here." 

Ray hugged him. "No thanks necessary, Fraser."

"I love you, Ray."

"Love you too, Fraser." 

Diefenbaker gave a short bark and pawed at Ray. With a laugh, the
detective hugged him too. "I love you too, furball." 

END