Starbuck stood on the edge of the crowd and listened to the priest drone
on. He'd been invited to stand with Apollo's family during the Ceremony of
Remembrance, but had politely refused. They weren't his family. He had no
family.

The destruction of the colonies had happened two yahrens ago today. On
that day, Apollo had lost his mother, and his brother, Zac. Starbuck still
remembered the sick feeling he'd had when he'd heard about Zac. He had
traded patrols with Zac that day, faking an illness so that Apollo would
have no choice but to let his younger brother fly with him.  Sometimes he
wondered if Apollo blamed him for Zac's death. More likely the Captain
blamed himself. 

He'd been fond of Zac; he was close to all members of Apollo's family. He
and Zac had done their share of drinking and chasing women together, but
Zac had known where Starbuck's feelings truly lay. Starbuck was in love
with Apollo. He'd confessed as much to Zac one night after a round of
heavy drinking. The younger man hadn't been shocked, and had encouraged
Starbuck to tell Apollo how he felt. But Starbuck hadn't. His friendship
with Apollo was too important to endanger like that. 

People were moving now, lighting candles in memory of loved ones lost to
the Cylons. Starbuck watched Apollo out of the corner of his eye. The
Captain lit two candles - one for his mother and one for his brother,
Starbuck assumed. He waited to see if Apollo lit a third candle for
Serena, his late wife. She hadn't been killed in the Destruction, but had
fallen victim to a Cylon attack not long afterwards. 

Apollo didn't light any more candles, but he saw Boxey step forward to
light one. Seeing Boxey light a candle in memory of his dead mother made
his heart twinge. As an orphan himself, he knew how the boy must feel. At
least he had a father and an extended family to care for him.  Starbuck
hadn't been that fortunate. 

Suddenly, without really thinking about it, Starbuck found himself taking
a match and lighting a pair of candles. He'd cared for Zac, and he'd been
fond of Apollo's mother, too. She'd welcomed him warmly the times he'd
gone home with Apollo for holidays while the two were in the Academy. 

As he turned and left the altar, Apollo appeared at his elbow. Nodding
toward the candles, he asked simply, "Who?" 

"Zac. And your mother."

Apollo placed an arm around his shoulders. "Thank you," he said.

"For what?" Starbuck asked as they left the assembly hall.

"For remembering them," his friend answered.

The Lieutenant didn't say anything. He didn't have to. His friendship with
Apollo wasn't the kind that required constant chatter.  When there was
something important that needed to be said, it would be said. Well,
usually. There were some things that Starbuck wouldn't say. He'd argued
about that with Zac shortly before his death. Zac had thought it important
that Apollo be made aware of his wingman's feelings. Perhaps he returned
them. Starbuck thought that highly unlikely.

"You won't know unless you ask him," Zac had responded.

Starbuck had changed the subject to Zac's flight training, and then they
had come up with their plan to make Apollo take Zac on patrol. And that
had been, well, that. He looked at his friend.  His deepest fear, the one
that haunted him late at night in the Bachelor Officer's Quarters, or
sometimes in the bed of his latest conquest, was that Apollo would suffer
the same fate as his brother - a shot from a Cylon fighter, and his viper
would go down in flames. He shuddered at the mental picture that created. 

Feeling the shudder, Apollo tightened his arm around Starbuck's shoulders.
"What's up, buddy?"  he asked as they entered the officer's lounge. 

"Just ... thinking," the lieutenant answered.

" 'Bout what?" Apollo asked as he picked up their drinks from the bar.

"Memories. Life. Friends."

"Life, eh? What about life?"

"That it's too short," answered Starbuck.

"I agree," said Apollo as he raised his glass. "Which is why I'm glad
you're here. I have something to tell you." 

"What's that?"

Apollo put his drink down on the table and turned so that he was facing
his friend. "That I love you." 

"I love you too, 'Pol. You're my best friend."

"That's not what I mean. I mean that I'm in love with you. And I have been
for a long time.  Tonight's ceremony, well, it made me think. Like you
said, life is too short. Either one of us could be shot down by a Cylon
patrol tomorrow. I had to tell you before anything happened. I understand
if you don't feel the same ... but I couldn't go any longer without saying
something." 

Starbuck took Apollo's hand in his. "I love you, Apollo. I always have. I
always will. And I mean that the same way that you do." He kissed the hand
before releasing it. 

Apollo stood up. "Boxey is staying with my father tonight. Will you come
back to my quarters with me?" 

Starbuck was out of his chair in a heartbeat. "That is the best offer I've
had in yahrens," he said. 

Apollo's arm went around his shoulders again, to be matched this time by
Starbuck's arm around Apollo's waist. They left the lounge, not caring if
anyone saw them with their arms around each other. They had some lost time
to make up for. 

END