"Hey, Pol?" Starbuck said to his lover. "What do you think of a computer that could answer all the questions that people have, like about the meaning of life, and stuff?" "I think it would be highly unlikely to exist," answered Apollo. "Well, yeah, that's probably true. But what if there was one?" Apollo gave his lover an odd look. "What brought this on?" he asked. Starbuck blushed a bit self-consciously. "Remember the other day when we met for the quickie in the Commander's office?" Apollo smiled. "Very well," he answered. "Well, I got there before you did, remember, and I was looking for something to do while I waited for you, and I found these old books." "What kind of books?" "Books of old writings, things people wrote in the Colonies hundreds of yahrens ago. They wrote about what they thought the future would be like. One of the predictions was that humans would invent a computer that would answer all the really big philosophical questions. You know, the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything." "Even if we did invent such a machine, how do we know it would give the right answer? What if it gave an answer nobody understood?" asked Apollo. "Like what?" "Well, like, say the answer it gave was 'forty two' or something." "Forty two? How could the meaning of life be forty two?" exclaimed Starbuck. "You didn't say 'the meaning of life.' You said, 'the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything.' You didn't define the question." "I knew there was a reason you shouldn't have taken philosophy when you were in the Academy," grumbled the Lieutenant. "Don't panic," laughed his lover. "I'm not planning to leave you for a philosophy major." "Good. If you did I would be seriously depressed. I'd probably start hearing things, like the doors talking." "Why would *doors* talk?" "To be polite? I don't know, it was one of the ideas in that book. I was just imagining a door saying something like 'thank you for letting me open for you'. Would drive me insane within a secton." "Like that talking computer idea Wilker came up with?" Apollo laughed. "Oh lords, don't remind me. What did he call that thing?" "He called it 'Eddie.' Remember how every time you used it, it would say, 'Hi there!' ?" "I'm glad your father finally put an end to it. I was getting tempted to put it out of my misery," Starbuck said. "What else did that book say? Anything about Earth?" Apollo asked. "Not really. Basically all it said was that the idea of Earth was likely a myth, but it was 'mostly harmless,' " Starbuck answered. "Anything else?" "Oh, that humans might be able to fly without ships one day. That is, if they could figure out how to throw themselves at the ground, and miss." Apollo rose and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, and left the room. When he stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, he found a naked Starbuck waiting for him. "I suggest you remove that towel," the blond man said with a leer. Apollo removed it, shaped it into a rat-tail and flicked it at him. "If you came in here to take a shower, where's *your* towel?" he asked. Starbuck pointed to a towel hanging on a hook. "I know where my towel is," he said, "and I don't need it for what I'm planning to do with you." Apollo grinned. "If you have in mind what I think you have in mind, I'm going to need another shower by the time you're done." "Count on it." END R.I.P. Douglas Adams, 1952-2001