Apollo and Starbuck were in Apollo's quarters. They'd had dinner and were
now sitting across from each other sipping their after-dinner ale while
Boxey slept in the next room. They didn't say much; they were comfortable
enough with each other after their many yahrens of friendship to not feel
a need to fill up every micron with words. 

Suddenly Apollo asked, "Who am I?"

Starbuck looked at him quizzically. "You're Apollo," he answered.

The Captain sighed. "I don't mean 'what's my name.' I mean, who am I? Who
is Apollo?" 

"Well, for one, you're Adama's son," Starbuck suggested, not sure what
kind of answer his friend was looking for. 

"That doesn't tell me who I am. That tells me who my father is."

"You're the Captain. You're the squadron leader."

"That's my job," Apollo sighed. "That isn't who I am."

"What are you getting at, Pol? I don't understand."

Apollo was thoughtful for a few moments. "All my life it seems like I've
always been defined by something outside of myself. People know me by who
my family is, or by my rank or my position. Even in the Academy I was
Adama's son, or I was your friend, or I was the guy who got the best
grades and was always on the honour roll, but nobody seemed to know who I
really was." Then he added, "But you aren't like that. You don't care who
my father is or what my rank is. You probably know me better than anybody.
So I'm asking you: who am I, Starbuck?"

"You're the one I love," Starbuck answered honestly.

Stunned, Apollo didn't answer right away. When his response finally came
it was shy and almost tentative. "You - you - you love me? Me?"

Starbuck swallowed hard. He couldn't believe he'd actually said out loud
what he'd been thinking for a long time. But now that he'd said it, there
was no reason to take it back. 

"Yes, Apollo, I do. I love you very much."

"Why?"

"Why?" Starbuck repeated. "Because you're beautiful, and I don't just mean
on the outside, physically. Everything about you is beautiful - your body,
your mind, your spirit. You're good. You're kind. You're strong, yet
you're also gentle. You're my best friend. You've stood by me through
everything. Even when everyone else thought I was guilty of murder, you
didn't. You defended me." 

"Why didn't you ever say anything before?" Apollo wanted to know.

"Because I didn't want to lose you as a friend if you don't feel the same
way about me." 

"Oh, Star," Apollo said softly. He stood and went to where Starbuck was
sitting. He kneeled in front of the other man and took both of Starbuck's
hands in his. "I love you. I think I've always loved you." 

"Why, Pol? I told you why I love you. Why do you love me?"

"I love you for a lot of reasons, but mostly because you know who I am."

The two warriors kissed then, each of them still a bit shy and uncertain.
But it felt so right that soon all of their uncertainty vanished. 

Finally, reluctantly, they broke apart. Apollo stood and held out a hand.
"Come over here and sit on the couch with me," he suggested. Starbuck did
so, and Apollo took him into his arms, then lay back, pulling his lover
with him so that they were both reclining. "How's that?" the Captain
asked. 

"Perfect," Starbuck sighed.

Apollo kissed him. "You're perfect," he stated.

"You're perfect too."

They stayed there on the couch for some time, kissing occasionally, until
both started to yawn.

"Stay with me tonight?" Apollo asked. 

"Are you sure?" Starbuck wanted to know. "Someone is bound to see me
leaving when sleep cycle is over." 

Apollo tightened his arms around the man he loved. "I don't care. I
stopped caring what other people thought of me a long time ago. Other
people except for you, that is." 

"Then I'll stay," Starbuck agreed.

"Forever," Apollo added. "Not just tonight. Stay forever."

Starbuck stifled a yawn. "Pol, I love you. I love you and I do want to
stay forever.  There are, however, some things we will have to discuss." 

"Like what?" Apollo asked, worried.

His new mate smiled. "Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you. But our
living together will affect Boxey, and your father and sister will have
something to say about it too." 

Apollo let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "You're right.
But can we discuss it in the morning? Tonight I just want to hold you." 

"Yes, we can discuss it in the morning. And having you hold me all night
sounds good to me." 

Apollo kissed him. "I love you."

"Love you too, Pol."

END