When Starbuck walked into Apollo's quarters, the look on his lover's face told him immediately that something was wrong. Apollo's words simply confirmed it. "My father knows," he said. Starbuck didn't have to ask what Adama knew. "How'd he find out?" "He said he's seen us together so much that he just figured it out from our behavior." "You could have denied it," Starbuck told him. Not that he would want Apollo to deny their love for each other, but he didn't want Apollo's relationship with his father to be threatened. "That didn't really occur to me. It seemed wrong to deny what we are to each other." "So, what did he have to say?" Starbuck asked. "A lot of things, none of them good," Apollo answered. "That he's disappointed in me. That he can't believe I'm really gay, that I was married to Serena so how can I date men? He thinks maybe you 'turned' me somehow." "Great," Starbuck muttered. "I'm sorry," Apollo said. "Not your fault. Did he say anything else?" "Well, he said that he might have to relieve me of my duties as Captain because he doesn't think the men will want to serve under a gay officer. He threatened to start legal proceedings to take Boxey away from me. But if I give up my relationship with you, he won't do any of that." "I assume you told him what he could do with his threats," Starbuck said. When no answer was immediately forthcoming from his lover, he felt a wave of panic rising in him. "You did. didn't you? I mean, you told him you wouldn't give me up, right? That you would fight for your job, and for Boxey, but you wouldn't break up with me? Apollo?" "I'm sorry, Star," said Apollo softly. "I can't give up Boxey. I can't give up my job, my duty. I can't give up my family. He's my father, Starbuck." "And I'm your lover." "I'm sorry, " Apollo said again. "But I have to break up with you. I can't lose my family." "I love you, Apollo." "I know. And I love you." "Not enough, obviously," said Starbuck angrily. He turned to leave Apollo's quarters. "Goodbye, Apollo." "Goodbye, Star," answered Apollo. "I love you," he added through his tears. But Starbuck had already left. Apollo seldom saw Starbuck for the next several sectons. Starbuck had transferred out of Blue Squadron so that he no longer had to be Apollo's wingman. The rare times Apollo dropped by the Officer's Club, Starbuck was nowhere to be seen. Boomer admitted that he rarely saw the Lieutenant lately. He'd invited him to play Triad a few times, but Starbuck had refused, saying that the game only reminded him of his former relationship with Apollo. As Triad partners, they'd won several tournaments. "Actually, Starbuck's been acting really strange lately," Boomer admitted. "Strange? How?" Apollo asked. "He never eats. He goes with me and Jolly to the officers' mess, and he picks up food, but he pushes it around on his plate and doesn't eat it. And from what his bunkmates have said, he doesn't sleep much, either. Nobody wants any of the bunks near his, because he leaves the light on and stays awake all night." Boomer shook his head sadly. "Apollo, I hate to say this, but you might have to relieve him of duty soon if he doesn't start eating and sleeping like a normal human being." "Boomer, does he talk to you at all? Confide in you?" "Sometimes he does, yeah. But I'm not going to tell you what he says, because I don't want to break his confidence." "Is there anything you can tell me that isn't in confidence?" Apollo begged. Taking pity on his friend, Boomer tried to think of something to tell him. "Well, the night that you two broke up, a bunch of us took him to the Officers' Club. Starbuck got absolutely shitfaced drunk. Blubbered about how much he loved you and how he couldn't live without you. After he sobered up he seemed ashamed of his outburst and told us he was going to quit drinking. "A couple of sectons later, I asked him if there was any chance you and he would get back together. He got upset - angry - and said that there was no chance in Hades that you two would ever get back together as long as you put your father's wishes ahead of your own." Apollo winced at the truth of that statement. "So then I asked him, if you and Apollo aren't going to get back together, would you give your old buddy Boomer a chance?" Apollo's jaw dropped. Starbuck and Boomer? He cleared his throat before responding. "So, uh, what did he say?" "He did give me a chance. It was actually good that nobody wanted the bunks near his - gave us some privacy. We were together - if you can call it that - for a couple of sectons, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it. He was lonely. He wanted some company, a warm body in his bed, but I could tell he didn't love me. He admitted that to me after I confronted him about calling your name when we were together instead of mine. But we're still friends. And now Jolly and I have an understanding," he said with a slight smile. Then he frowned. "But Starbuck is just a ghost of the man he used to me. He's so thin, Apollo. And just so, so sad. He's not even angry anymore. It's like there's no life left in him. He's just a body that doesn't know it's dead yet." "I'll talk to him," stated Apollo. "Unless you're going to apologize to him and beg him to take you back, I don't think it's going to do much good," Boomer warned. Apollo strode determinedly into the Bachelor Officers' Quarters. Finding Starbuck sitting on his bunk, he approached him slightly nervously. "Starbuck, can I talk you for a centon?" The Lieutenant looked up at him. Apollo almost groaned out loud at the pain in those blue eyes. "No, Apollo. I have nothing to say to you." "I have something to say to you." "I highly doubt that," answered Starbuck. "Starbuck, I'm still your Captain." "So I seem to remember hearing. Apparently you got to keep your job after all. Oh, right, because you didn't dare fight with your father." Apollo studied his former lover. Boomer was right. Starbuck was thin to the point of emaciation. And pale. He looked like he hadn't shaved in quite a while. His uniform hung on him. "Starbuck, can we just forget about that, because I need to talk to you about your health." "Sorry, Apollo, but I can't forget it. As for my health, when did you become a doctor?" "Star, it's quite obvious that you're not well!" Apollo shouted. Starbuck actually showed some life for the first time since Apollo had walked in to the BOQ. "Don't call me that. Don't call me 'Star.' You're the only one who ever called me that, did you know that? It was your name for me - yours alone. But you don't have the right to have any private nicknames for me anymore. You can use my name, or you can call me 'Lieutenant.' That's all." "What does Boomer call you?" Apollo asked. Starbuck sighed., "So you heard about that, did you? I'm not surprised. It's impossible to keep secrets around here. But what Boomer called me, or, for that matter, anything between me and Boomer, is none of your business." Starbuck was right. Whatever had happened between him and Boomer was none of Apollo's business. "You're right. I'm sorry. Look, you've obviously lost weight. You're pale, you're thin, and people tell me you're not sleeping. If your health gets any worse I'll relieve you of duty." Starbuck shrugged. "Ask me if I care." "Don't you care?" Apollo asked in astonishment. "No." "For Sagan's sake, why not?" "Apollo, the day you ended our relationship, I ceased to exist. All I can do now is wait to die. I'd rather it was quick, and if I could arrange it I'd let myself get blown up by a Cylon patrol, but I can't in good conscience endanger my squadron." He smiled a bit sadly. "Actually, I'm glad you're here. I may as well say goodbye to you now. I doubt you'll see me again. I'm sure your father would prefer it that way." "Starbuck, you can't be serious!" Apollo exclaimed. "Can't I?" He yawned and lay back in his bunk. "You know, I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap. Goodbye, Apollo." Accepting the dismissal, Apollo turned to leave. "I love you," he said softly. He wasn't certain Starbuck had heard him until he heard the familiar voice say, "Not enough, Apollo. Not enough." Apollo wasn't certain that leaving was a good idea, but he didn't know what else to do. Starbuck had as good as told him he was suicidal, but not actively so. He wasn't going to try to kill himself, unless starving himself was his way of trying to do it. What could he do to stop it? He couldn't ask Starbuck to take him back. He couldn't tell Starbuck he wanted them to be lovers again. Sure, it was what he wanted, but it wasn't something he could have. Not if he wanted to keep his job and his son. Starbuck had encouraged him to fight for both, but he couldn't fight his own father! Adama and Athena were all that he had left of his birth family, and he couldn't lose them. The next day he was surprised to find a message in his office from Dr. Salik. It told him that Starbuck would not be able to make his patrols for the next few cycles; he had been admitted to Life Center. Maybe this was a good thing, Apollo told himself. Maybe Starbuck had realized his health was in jeopardy and had asked Salik to help him. Or maybe not. He decided to go to Life Center and check. Salik told him that Starbuck had collapsed in the BOQ the night before and that Lts. Boomer and Jolly had brought him in. Starbuck was suffering from malnutrition, dehydration, exhaustion, and anemia. It was a good thing that Salik had got to him when he did, or more serious damage would have been just around the corner - kidney failure, for one. "So what can you do for him?" Apollo wanted to know. "We're giving him intravenous fluids and nutrients. He's under sedation for now because when he was awake, he fought us. He needs plenty of rest and food. But once he wakes up, I can't force- feed him. If he doesn't want to eat, I can't make him. " "So if he doesn't want to eat, what will happen to him?" Apollo asked in fear. "Eventually, Starbuck will die," Salik told him. "In fact, it wouldn't be too far off to say that he's already dying." "Starbuck is dying?" "Yes, Captain. I don't know why, but he is." Apollo ran from the Life Center. He didn't stop running until he reached the Commander's office. He walked straight in and stood in front of his father's desk. "Starbuck is dying," he announced. Startled, the Commander asked, "Dying? Why? How? What happened? Was there some sort of accident?" "No. When I broke off my relationship with him - on your orders - he stopped eating. He gave up on living. He told Boomer and Jolly that he can't live without me. So he's just given up, and he's going to die. And it's your fault." "My fault? How can it be my fault? Starbuck's the one that chose this. I'll be sorry to lose him - he's a fine warrior - but he's obviously unstable." "No, he's not unstable. He just loves me, that's all. " "And you gave him up," Adama pointed out. "Only because you made me!" his son protested. Adama looked at Apollo. "I did not 'make' you do anything. Yes, I asked you to give him up. But you chose to do so. I didn't hold a gun to your head." "You may as well have, with the threats you made." "I won't deny that I used some very harsh language and yes, I did make some threats. But I must admit that I'm surprised you gave in so easily. When you didn't fight me, it made me assume that you really weren't as close to Starbuck as you claimed to be. You're a warrior. Warriors fight for what's important to them. Obviously, Starbuck isn't important to you." "Oh lords," breathed Apollo. "I hurt him for no good reason. No, it's not your fault that he's dying. It's mine. I could have stood up to you. I could have said no, you won't take my job away. My men will fight for me. They won't want to lose me as their Captain. And I won't let you take Boxey away from me. Serena made a will before we were sealed, giving me custody of Boxey if anything happened to her. I'll hire an advocate if I have to, but you won't take Boxey. I'm going back to Starbuck. I'm going to tell him I was wrong. I'll beg him to take me back if I have to. I won't let him die." And he turned and marched out of his father's office, leaving a stunned Commander staring after him. Apollo returned to the Life Center, where he questioned Dr. Salik about Starbuck's condition. "For now, I'm keeping him sedated. I'll keep him that way for as long as I can, at least until his vital signs are stable. But I will have to let him wake up eventually. I don't know what will happen then." "I think - at least I hope - that things will improve for Starbuck, Doctor. I can't promise you anything, but I'll do everything I can to make sure that he wants to live," Apollo promised. "I hope you succeed, Captain. I really hope you succeed," said Salik grimly. He wasn't used to patients who didn't want to recover. For the next few days Apollo spent as much time as he could in the Life Center, even though Starbuck was still under sedation. He wasn't there as much as he wanted to be - he needed to be with his squadron, just in case the Commander carried out his threat to relieve him of duty. When Salik tapered off the sedatives, however, Starbuck still didn't wake up. "Starbuck, wake up for me. Please," Apollo whispered to the man he loved. He held Starbuck's hand and stroked his hair. He wished he could use Starbuck's nickname - to him, the Lieutenant would always be "Star." But his lover - former lover - had told him not to use that name, and he went along with his wishes. "Starbuck, please wake up. I need you. I know I haven't been there for you lately - and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every stupid thing I've said and done over the past couple of sectares. Please, come back to me." "He hears you," Salik told Apollo, noting the changes in Starbuck's vital signs. "He may not be ready to come back yet, but he definitely hears you." Eventually, though it seemed to be reluctantly, Starbuck did come to. He looked surprised to see Apollo sitting by his bed. "What are you doing here?" he asked. The look of sheer joy on Apollo's face took Starbuck's breath away. "I'm here to see you, to talk to you, to apologize for the way I've treated you lately. I was wrong, Starbuck. I should never have left you. I stood up to my father. I told him I was going to fight for you, and I am. Please, Starbuck, come back to me. Be my lover - my partner - my life mate. I love you." Starbuck closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "So, I'm supposed to forgive you, and take you back, just like that?" "I guess that is a bit much to spring on you when you've been unconscious for the last secton." "Hell, Apollo, it would be a lot to spring on me if I was perfectly healthy! How am I supposed to take you back? I almost died when you broke up with me. If you did it again, I would die. Nothing that you or Salik could do would stop me. It was bad enough the first time - I won't go through that again." Apollo took Starbuck's hand in his. "It won't happen again. I will never leave you again." Starbuck pulled his hand away. "I don't believe you. I don't trust you anymore, Apollo." With a sigh, Apollo removed his hand from the bed. "You have every right to feel the way you do," he said. "I wish I had never left you in the first place. But I did, and there's no way I can take that back. Is there anything I can do to prove to you that I'm sincere?" Starbuck looked at him sadly. "You might be sincere now. You might have every intention of fighting for me. But knowing you the way I do now, the first time your father makes trouble, you'll leave me. He runs your life. You won't stand up to him." "I already have," Apollo told him. "I told him to go ahead and try to take my job away from me - the men will fight for me. And that I have legal custody of Boxey, according to Serena's final wishes, and nothing he can do will change that. I'll hire legal representation if I have to, but he won't take Boxey from me." "I'm impressed," said Starbuck. "What changed?" "My father said something that made me realize what a fool I've been. He said warriors fight for what's important to them, and that since I didn't fight for you when he told me to leave you, he assumed that our relationship wasn't important to me. When he said that, I saw that everything that was important to me didn't mean a thing if I didn't fight for them. So I'm fighting. And I will fight for you, Starbuck, if you'll let me. I love you." "I love you, Apollo, but I can't risk getting hurt like this again." "All right. I understand. But do you think that, maybe, we could be friends?" There was a slight smile from Starbuck. "All right. We can be friends." "Then will you do something for me, as a friend?" Apollo asked. "What?" asked Starbuck suspiciously. "Eat something? Take care of yourself?" He was almost begging. "Yes, mother," growled Starbuck sarcastically. For the first time in over a sectare, Apollo laughed. Starbuck's recovery speeded up after Apollo's visit, and he was soon released from Life Center, though he was not put back on the duty roster right away. He was actually almost pleased about that - he hadn't yet decided if he wanted to go back to being Apollo's wingman. He had agreed to be friends with his former lover, but he wasn't certain exactly how he was going to adjust to being friends with the man that he had loved and lost. Certainly, they had been friends before they were lovers. But most of that time he'd spent yearning for more from Apollo - and, amazingly, he'd got it. Then, just like that, Apollo had taken it away again. He didn't know what he would do with Apollo. But he didn't know what he would do without Apollo. He needed the other man like he needed to breathe. But he couldn't stand to be hurt again. He'd meant it when he'd told Apollo he would die if they got back together and then broke up again. Apollo spent a lot of time visiting Starbuck in the Life Center before he was released. Then he had to try to figure out how to be friends, and nothing more, with the man that he loved. He'd loved Starbuck for yahrens - since they were cadets. When Starbuck returned his love, Apollo had been the happiest man alive. And then he'd let his father's interference break them up, and Starbuck had almost died. He understood why Starbuck wouldn't take him back. The other man was understandably afraid of getting hurt again. But that didn't stop him from wishing that things could be different. He had hurt his dearest love for no good reason, and wanted to make it up to him. But Starbuck didn't seem prepared to let him. Why did everything have to be so complicated? [A few sectons later] Starbuck watched as Apollo went through his pre-flight check with his current wingman - Sheba. Starbuck did not like Sheba at all. Oh, she was a good warrior, that much was true. But she paid too much attention to Apollo. How could anyone be a warrior one centon and a simpering *girl* the next? None of the other female warriors were like that, but none of the other female warriors was interested in Apollo. In fact, they seemed to have a pool going as to who Apollo would end up with - Sheba or Starbuck. And Starbuck was jealous. He kept telling himself he had no right to be jealous. He'd given up being lovers with Apollo. The Captain could have anyone he wanted as a lover. But it still hurt. It hurt because he still loved Apollo. And he had no idea what to do about it. Could he risk his heart again? Could he risk Adama's wrath? Apollo had said he would fight for him. Did he really mean that? "Hey, Bucko, wanna go to the Officer's Club? My treat." It was Boomer. "What, you get rich all of a sudden?" Starbuck asked with a laugh. Boomer waved some credits in front of him. "You missed last night's Pyramid match-up. Probably a good thing you did, or you'd be the one with the money and not me." Starbuck still got tired very easily - a legacy from his near-death not that long ago. So he tended to head back to his bunk after patrol instead of joining in the card games that took place late into the night. At least he was back on duty. But he wasn't Apollo's wingman anymore. That honour belonged to Sheba. Boomer was Starbuck's wingman. "All right, you can buy your new wingman a drink, if Jolly doesn't mind," Starbuck told him. Boomer clapped him on the shoulder. "Have I mentioned lately that it's good to have you back?" "Only about a dozen times in the last couple of days," Starbuck laughed. The two warriors were soon joined in the OC by Jolly, Greenbean, Giles and several other members of Red Squadron. Blue Squadron was on patrol this cycle. Boomer was flush from his win last night, and was happily buying rounds for the entire squadron. He proposed a toast. "To the best damn warriors in the fleet!" he announced, and cheers went up from the group. Warriors. They were warriors. Starbuck was a warrior. What was it Apollo had told him - warriors fight for what's important to them? Well, Apollo was important to him. Apollo had said he would fight for Starbuck - couldn't Starbuck fight for Apollo? Most of all, couldn't he fight for himself? What kind of warrior was he, just lying down to die when his lover left him? Starbuck raised his glass to get his friends' attention. "I would like to propose a toast myself," he told them. "To Apollo." The warriors were happy to drink a toast to their Captain. Of course, many of them were drunk enough that they would have been happy to drink a toast to the Cylons. "To Apollo," they answered. As they finished off their round, they discovered someone else had joined them. "I'm glad to see that you're drinking a toast to my son," said the Commander. "He's our Captain. He's our leader. He's a good man, Commander," said Boomer. "And it doesn't bother you, that your leader has a tendency toward sleeping with other men?" Adama asked. "What difference does it make who he sleeps with?" asked Jolly. "Doesn't make a difference to how he flies a Viper or how he leads a squadron." "But really, it looks like he might be knocking boots with Sheba, anyway," Greenbean put in. Starbuck was trying his best to be invisible, but it didn't work. "Lieutenant Starbuck," said Adama. "Good to see that you are well. May I speak with you for a centon - alone?" Nervous, but trying not to show it, Starbuck rose and followed the Commander. Boomer, Jolly and the other warriors wondered what Adama wanted to say to the Lieutenant, and were a bit worried about him, knowing how Apollo's father had felt about the two warriors' relationship. "What did you want to see me about, Commander?" Starbuck asked when he was alone with Adama. "It's about Apollo," replied Adama. "I was wondering about your relationship with him." "My relationship with Apollo is, frankly, none of your concern, Commander. Apollo is an adult, so his personal life is just that - personal. And it doesn't affect his job as Strike Captain, either." "Lieutenant Starbuck, are you and my son lovers?" "I refuse to answer that question, Commander, and you have no right to ask it," Starbuck replied. "What if I have you thrown in the brig until you answer me?" Starbuck stood his ground. /I am a warrior/ he reminded himself. "Sir, with all due respect, I'd tell you to go right ahead. Then I would use my right to hire a Defender, who would force you to release me, and I would press charges against you for false imprisonment." Even though he didn't want to be, Adama was impressed. "Does my son really mean that much to you?" he asked. "Sir, your son means everything to me." "But Ensign Greenbean said that Apollo is sleeping with Sheba," the Commander pointed out. "It's not any of my business who Apollo sleeps with any more than it is yours, Commander. " "But I thought that you and he were lovers," said Adama in confusion. Starbuck smiled sadly. "I never said that. I simply said I wouldn't tell you if we were or not." "Starbuck, I never thought I'd say this," Adama told him, "but if you and Apollo aren't lovers, then it's his loss." "It's my loss too, Commander," answered Starbuck. "You're dismissed, Lieutenant," said the Commander. "Go back and join your friends." /I have to talk to my son/ he added mentally. Blue Squadron's patrol was finished and some of its members were arriving in the OC, hoping to share in Boomer's new found wealth. Apollo wasn't among them, but Sheba was. Seeing Apollo's wingman, Starbuck excused himself. He didn't want anything to do with Sheba. At least Apollo wasn't with her. Commander Adama approached Apollo's quarters. He wasn't entirely certain what he was going to say to his son. 'I've reconsidered, and I want you and Starbuck to be lovers again'? Apollo would probably think his father had gone senile in his old age. But he'd seen the depth of Starbuck's devotion to Apollo, and he honestly could not find anything to disapprove of. Anyone would be lucky to have a partner that loved them so much. When he reached the door, he was surprised to hear raised voices coming from inside. One of them was Apollo's, the other belonged to Bojay, one of the crew members who had come over from the Pegasus. He knocked on the door. It opened, and Apollo stuck his head out. "Oh, hello, Father." "Apollo, I came to talk to you, but if you have company, I can come back later." "That might be a good idea," said Apollo nervously. Adama realized that he was worried about something. "Is everything all right?" he asked in concern. Bojay's voice sounded from inside the cabin. "Captain, get your ass back in here now!" shouted the warrior. "We're not through with our discussion!" "Lieutenant Bojay!" called Adama through the door. "What's going on here?" Bojay stood behind Apollo with a laser pistol in his hand. "Your little boy is fucking my Sheba," snarled the warrior. "I came to tell him to stop it." He pulled Apollo back inside and closed the door before Adama could react. Starbuck, meanwhile, had come to a decision. He was going to fight for the man that he loved. He was going to go see Apollo and ask him to make a choice between him and Sheba. He would tell Apollo that he was willing to give their relationship another chance, if that was what Apollo still wanted, but he had to give up Sheba, if, indeed, they really were sleeping together. When he arrived at Apollo's quarters, however, he discovered the corridor heavily occupied by members of the security team. Adama appeared to be trying to talk to someone through the door. When he saw Starbuck, he broke off whatever conversation he'd been having and came over to the warrior. "What's going on? Is Apollo all right?" the lieutenant demanded. Adama explained that Bojay was holding Apollo hostage inside his quarters. He hadn't made any demands, except to talk to Sheba. Unfortunately, no one knew where to find her. "She's in the Officers' Club," Starbuck informed them. "I'll go fetch her." He left and hurried down to the OC. He wasn't going to get Sheba, though - he had someone else in mind. He wanted Boomer. His friend had certain talents to do with opening locked doors that he thought might come in handy. "I'm sorry, Commander," Starbuck said when he and Boomer arrived back at Apollo's quarters. "I couldn't find Sheba. But I thought that Boomer here might be able to help us." "We'll take all the help we can get," said Adama. "Lieutenant Boomer, what did you have in mind?" Meanwhile, Starbuck called to Apollo through the door. "Apollo? It's me, Starbuck! Are you all right?" "Go away!" came the answer from Bojay. "The Captain is tied up right now!" "Bojay, if you hurt Apollo, I *will* kill you," Starbuck stated. "Is that a threat, Lieutenant?" asked Bojay with a laugh. "No, it's not a threat. It's a promise." Meanwhile, Boomer was working on the door lock. Reese wanted to send his troops in to Apollo's cabin as soon as it was open, but Adama refused to allow it. As soon as Bojay saw Security officers, he could shoot Apollo before any of them had a chance to disarm him. "Bojay!" called Starbuck through the door. "Can I come in? I want to talk to you." "Well, I don't want to talk to *you*," Bojay answered. Boomer motioned to Starbuck. "Listen, Bucko, I've got the locking mechanism exposed, but I'm only going to be able to hold the door open for a few microns. Are you ready?" Starbuck nodded, and Boomer opened the door. Starbuck dove through, barely making it inside before it closed behind him. He raised his hands as Bojay pointed his weapon at him. "Listen, Bojay, I just want to talk, that's all." He turned to Apollo, who was sitting tied to a chair. "You okay, 'Pol?" he asked quietly. Apollo was surprised to hear Starbuck use his nickname, but he just nodded. "I'm all right," he said. "So, what's the problem here, Bojay?" Starbuck asked. "Why is our Captain tied up? Why are you holding a gun on him?" "Because he's fucking my girl! My Sheba!" Bojay growled. Starbuck shook his head. "Apollo isn't sleeping with Sheba," he said, wishing he knew that for a fact. "How do you know?" Bojay asked in suspicion. "Because Apollo and I are lovers," Starbuck answered. Apollo's eyes widened in surprise, but Starbuck shot him a look that begged him to play along. "That's right, we are," said the Captain. "I thought you broke up," Bojay said. "We did, but we got back together," said Starbuck. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Bojay demanded of Apollo. "My father's right outside the door. I didn't want him to know. He doesn't approve of my being with another man," Apollo answered. "Does Sheba know that you two are fuck buddies?" "No," Starbuck answered. "We have to hide it, because of the Commander. But Bojay, we're not, as you put it, 'fuck buddies.' We're *lovers*. I love Apollo, and he loves me. I know he wouldn't cheat on me with Sheba." "Even if you are lovers, or whatever you want to call it," growled Bojay, "that doesn't explain why Sheba's hanging around you all the time, Captain." "Sheba's lonely," said Apollo. "After what happened with the Pegasus, losing her father and everything. I'm her wingman. It's normal that we'd become friends." A thought occurred to Starbuck. "Bojay, does Sheba even know how you feel about her?" "I thought she did," said Bojay, though he didn't sound certain. "Have you told her?" "Well, no, I thought I wouldn't need to. I thought she'd know." "Bojay, I thought that Apollo knew how I felt about him, and I didn't say or do anything for yahrens because I thought he knew, but wasn't interested. I lost a lot of time for nothing! Apollo didn't know how much I love him, but he does now. Right, Pol?" "Right," answered Apollo. As Bojay turned away from Starbuck to look at Apollo, the lieutenant grabbed his wrist and twisted. Bojay cried out in pain and dropped his weapon. Starbuck grabbed it and pointed it at him. "Are you all right, Apollo?" he asked again. "I'm fine. Take care of that boray, will you?" Starbuck escorted Bojay outside, where Security was waiting. Adama wanted to rush in to see Apollo, but Starbuck stopped him. "Look, Commander, Apollo's all right. We just want to be alone for a bit. Can I send him to see you in a little while? I guess we'll both have to make statements to Security," he added with a sigh. Adama smiled knowingly. "You and Apollo take all the time you need, Starbuck. Security will still be around when you're ready, as will I." Starbuck went back into Apollo's quarters and quickly untied his friend. When he was done, he stood and looked at Apollo uncertainly. He wanted to take the other man into his arms, but suddenly felt shy. "Are you sure you're all right?" he asked yet again. "I'm fine, Star," said Apollo, then winced as he realized he'd used the nickname that he'd been told not to use. "I've missed hearing that name," Starbuck said softly. "I've missed using it," replied Apollo. "Apollo, can I ask you something, as a friend?" "Anything." "Are you sleeping with Sheba?" "No!" Apollo answered vehemently. "There's no one for me but you, Starbuck. Even if you don't want me that way, I could never be with anyone else." "There's no one for me, either," Starbuck told him. "No one but you. That is, if you still want me." "Starbuck, I'll always want you. I just thought that you didn't want me anymore, that you were too afraid of being hurt again." "I'm a warrior, Pol," Starbuck answered. "Warriors don't give up that easily. You said it yourself - warriors fight for what's important to them. You're what's important to me. Would you - could we - could we try again?" Apollo crossed the space between them and took his lover into his arms. "Yes," he murmured. "Yes. I love you, Star - can I call you Star?" "You're the only one who can," answered Starbuck. "And I hope you always will." He kissed the man that he loved. "I love you, Pol." "I love you too, Star." END