If You Leave
-------------

"Fraser, are you sure you want to come with me? This is going to be a very
long, boring stakeout," Ray Kowalski inquired of his partner and lover,
Benton Fraser. 

"Yes, Ray, I am sure. We haven't had much time together lately, and I want
to be with you," replied Fraser. 

"Okay, if you're sure. Let's get at 'er."

Ray and Fraser set up in a ratty hotel room in a seedy part of Chicago,
watching various people come and go in the hotel on the other side of the
street. Just when Ray was ready to give up and call Lt. Welsh to tell him
to cancel the surveillance, Fraser shouted to him. 

"Ray, isn't that our suspect?"

"Bingo! Let's go get 'im!" Ray ran from the room with the Mountie at his
heels. 

As soon as the suspect saw Ray, Fraser and the other officers from the
surveillance team descending on him, he pulled a gun. Before anyone could
react, the man had started shooting, seemingly at random. Everyone ducked
and ran for cover. But it was too late.

"FRASER!" screamed Kowalski as his partner hit the ground. 

Bullets were flying in every direction as Ray crawled carefully to where
the man he loved lay on the ground, bleeding from a bullet wound. He
yanked out his cellphone and called in an "officer down" report. While he
waited for the paramedics he pulled off his t-shirt and pressed it to the
wound in Fraser's chest, trying to stem the bleeding. "Don't leave me,
Fraser,"  Ray begged the unconscious man. "Please, please don't leave me.
I love you. Stay with me!" 

The ambulance arrived and the paramedics had to pry Ray away from his
lover in order to work on him. Detective Huey held on to him to keep him
back while the paramedics worked.

The man who had done the shooting had himself been shot, though there was
a question as to whether he'd shot himself or been shot by one of the
police officers. Lt. Welsh was questioning everyone at the scene.  When he
got to Ray, he asked, "What happened, Detective?" 

"He shot Fraser," Kowalski replied dully.

"What was the Mountie doing here?" the lieutenant wanted to know. 

"Uh, he wanted to keep me company," answered Ray. "I can't talk to you
right now, lieutenant, I have to go with Fraser." Before Welsh could
object, Ray had climbed in to the ambulance and was gone. 

--------------------------------

Fraser found himself standing in a hospital room watching Ray sitting at
the bedside of - himself? He turned and saw his father standing next to
him. "What's happening, Dad?" he asked. "Am I dead?" 

"No, son, you're not dead. You're in limbo at the moment," replied the
elder Fraser. 

" 'Limbo' ? What's that?"

"You're sort of hovering, you might say, between life and death.  Right
now you're not in your body because you were hurt badly. Your body doesn't
want to support your spirit right now, it has enough work to do trying to
heal all the damage." 

Benton watched Ray as he sat, holding his hand, begging him to wake up. 

"Dad, I have to talk to Ray. I have to tell him I'm all right." 

"You can't do that, son. And you're not all right. Your body is almost
dead." 

"But I can see you, even when I'm fine, and you're dead. Why can't Ray see
me?" 

"Because you're not dead," answered Robert.

Ben sighed. "Ray needs me," he said.

"The Yank will have to learn to do without you for a while then," replied
his father. "He shouldn't be so dependent on you. He's a grown man!" 

"He loves me," Benton snapped at Robert.

"And your mother loved me, and she still did fine without me when I had to
be away from her." 

"You didn't do so fine when she died."

"I did all right!"

"Yes, eventually, but it did take you a while," his son reminded him.  He
turned back to Ray. He knew his partner probably couldn't see or hear him,
but he walked over to where Ray sat and put his hand on his shoulder.  He
bent down so that he was speaking directly in to his lover's ear.  "Ray,
I'm here. I won't leave you if I can help it. But if I do, please don't
give up. You have to keep going without me. For my sake. Please." 

Ray brushed a hand past his ear as if he'd felt a mosquito buzzing around
it. "Coulda sworn I felt something," he muttered to himself. He turned
back to Benton's unconscious form. "Ben, love, please wake up," he said. 
"I need you. I don't know how to let you go. " He was quiet for a little
while, then he spoke again. "I know you've always been the strong one -
you take care of me. Well, now it's my turn to take care of you. If - when
- you wake up, I'll look after you. I'll take you home and I'll be your
nurse if I have to. Just as long as you wake up." 

For several days Ray just sat in the hospital room, not eating and almost
never sleeping. Doctors came and went, as did nurses, and they managed to
to work around the determined detective. No one had been able to convince
him to leave Ben's side for a moment, let alone go home. Other
detectives from the 27th came to visit, including Lt Welsh. Francesca and
Mrs Vecchio also came, and Mrs Vecchio was finally able to convince Ray to
eat some soup that she had brought with her. "Raymond, you must eat. You
will be no good to Benton if you get sick," she said. She looked at the
still form in the bed. She stroked his hair. "I wish my Raymondo could be
here,"  she said. "No offense to you, Raymond, but he and Benton are so
close - he would want to be here, I know." 

"I know," said Ray softly. "Lt. Welsh tried to get the Feds to let him
contact Ray, but they wouldn't, no matter how mad Welsh got." 

"He does have you, though, caro," Mrs. Vecchio said to Ray, stroking his
hair this time. "You love him, and he loves you."  Ray had been surprised
at how easily Mama Vecchio had accepted his and Fraser's relationship.
When the two of them had told her, she had smiled and hugged and kissed
them and said that as long as 'her boys' were happy, then she was happy.
Francesca had been a bit more difficult to deal with, but she was starting
to come around. Meeting a new man at church recently probably hadn't hurt,
either. 

"I do love him," said Ray, the tears starting up again. "Will I ever have
the chance to tell him again?" 

Fraser's spirit was standing watch over his lover. He turned to his
father. "Dad, I have to go to him. I have to go back." 

"Are you sure, son? You don't have to go back. You can cross over, you
know. Being dead isn't so bad." 

"I have to go back," Benton said again. "Ray needs me. And I need him." 
And with that his spirit dematerialized, and the figure in the bed opened
his eyes.

"Ray?" Ben said in a voice hoarse from not being used for so long. 

"FRASER!" Ray jumped up and nearly threw himself on the bed. Mrs Vecchio
smiled, kissed Fraser's cheek, and said, "Welcome back, Benton,"  before
leaving 'her boys' alone. 

"Hello, Ray," said Ben.

"Oh, God, Ben, you're alive, you're awake! I could kiss you! Actually, I
think I will," and he kissed his love thoroughly. He took Fraser's hand in
his and held it tightly. "I love you, Ben," he said. 

"And I love you, Ray."

"Don't ever leave me, okay?"

Ben smiled. "I'll try not to."

Ray suddenly burst into tears of sheer relief. Fraser put an arm around
his shoulders and lay Ray's head down on his chest, stroking his hair. 

"It's all right, Ray," he whispered. "Everything's all right. I'm here,
and I won't leave you." 

Ray looked up. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good," said Ray. "I'll love you forever, Ben."

"And I will love you forever, Ray."

END