Lt. Starbuck was feeling anxious. The next day was the Lover's Festival, a day set aside (so legend had it) by the gods to honour lovers. Starbuck had long suspected that it had actually been invented by merchants so that they could sell things for people to give to their lovers, but he had always gone out of his way to show his current special someone a good time. The only problem was that his current - and he hoped, permanent - special someone was Captain Apollo, who, though he loved Starbuck, was not exactly a sentimental type. Starbuck didn't think that Apollo would be in to flowery cards or poetry or things like that. But it *was* the Lover's Festival, and Starbuck had to do something for his lover. But what? Out of desperation, Starbuck went to visit his former flame, Cassieopia. They were on good terms now, though they hadn't always been. "Hi, Starbuck, what's up?" asked the blonde woman cheerfully. "Well, you know that tomorrow is the Lover's Festival, right?" he asked. "Sure, how could I forget? Athena has been teasing me for weeks about the surprise she's planning. What about it?" "Ineedanidea," Starbuck ran his words together. "You need a *what* ?" asked Cassie, laughing. "An idea. For Apollo. For Lover's Festival. I'm stumped." "Starbuck, I'm surprised! You were always the one for the grand romantic gestures when we were together. How can you be stumped?" "Because, Cassie, you're a woman. In case you hadn't noticed, Apollo isn't." Cassie laughed. "Yes, Starbuck, I did notice that. What difference does it make?" "Well, you know, he's not the sentimental type. He's a warrior. He isn't the hearts and flowers type." "Are you sure about that, Starbuck?" "Sure I'm sure. Please, help me out here, Cassie!" Cassieopia sighed and thought for a few minutes. Then she had an idea. "What about jewelry, Starbuck? Something simple that he can wear that will remind him of you whenever he looks at it." The Lieutenant smiled. "I like that idea, Cass, thanks. But I'm not thinking only in terms of gifts, here. What I need is something we can do together, something special." "Hmm," Cassie's brow furrowed. "Well, I'll tell you, Starbuck, one thing I always liked about spending time with you was that you always tried to make our dates *fun*. When I was a socialator, men were always after - well, you know. And even after I stopped doing that, men *still* always wanted that. But you actually seemed to enjoy my company, and we had fun together, even without the sex." She blushed. "Not that the sex was bad or anything...." Starbuck laughed and hugged Cassie. "Thanks for saying that, Cass. I hope Athena has something really special planned for you. She's lucky to have you." "I'm lucky to have *her*," replied Cassieopia, and kissed Starbuck on the cheek. Starbuck walked away, whistling cheerfully. He could still hardly believe that two of his former lovers were now *each other's* lovers, but it was no more incredible than his relationship with Apollo. The gods must have been working overtime. What he didn't see was his lover watching him from a distance. Apollo had seen him with Cassie, and he was seething. How could Starbuck go back to her? Well, he would be locked out of Apollo's quarters tonight, that was for sure. Starbuck approached Apollo's quarters full of anticipation. He had found the perfect gift for the captain - a pair of matching bracelets that he'd have engraved with their names. But those were for tomorrow. Tonight, he was happy just to be spending the night with his lover. He did have his own quarters, but they were small and cramped. Still, they were better than the bachelor officers' quarters. But he much preferred Apollo's. They were bigger, to accomodate Boxey and Muffit, and, of course, they contained Apollo. Funny. The door was locked. Apollo never locked his door when he was expecting his lover. Maybe he'd forgotten? Maybe he'd just fallen asleep without remembering to unlock the door. Maybe *he* was planning a surprise for the Festival. Starbuck grinned at the idea. He had some planning of his own to do, so perhaps it was a blessing in disguise not to be able to see Apollo tonight. He headed back to his own quarters, still whistling cheerfully. Apollo was surprised that Starbuck didn't make a fuss at finding the door locked. In fact, he sounded quite cheerful. //That proves how much he wants to be with me// he thought to himself. //He's probably gone to find someone else to spend the night with. I should have known better than to expect him to make a commitment to one person.// He was supposed to fly patrol with Starbuck tomorrow. Frak. He'd contact Boomer in the morning and trade patrols with him. He could do without seeing Starbuck so soon - especially on the day of the Lover's Festival. The next day, Starbuck was surprised to find that he was flying patrol with Boomer, not Apollo. Very odd, but perhaps this was part of Apollo's plan for Lover's Festival. Who was he to argue? Actually, he was relieved. It meant he wouldn't have to hide his anticipation at Apollo finding *his* surprise. It would all be set up for when Apollo returned from his patrol. "Hiya, Boom-Boom," Starbuck greeted his friend. "Happy Lover's Festival. Got any big plans for tonight?" "You know me, Starbuck, the fleet's most eligible bachelor," replied Lt. Boomer. "Someone has to have the title now that you're with Apollo. When are the two of you going to make it official, anyway?" "You mean get married?" asked Starbuck as he strapped himself into his Viper. "I dunno, Boom, it seems like such a big step. I mean, I want to be with Apollo for the rest of my life, and I'm sure he wants the same thing, but actually taking the leap and getting sealed - frak, it scares me, to tell you the truth." "Really, Bucko? Maybe you're not ready to give up the title after all," laughed Boomer. "Very funny," snarled Starbuck. After Boomer and Starbuck's patrol was over, Apollo waited until they had left the Viper bay before heading to his own ship. He didn't want to run into his *ex* lover today. He'd have to confront Starbuck eventually, but not on the day of Lover's Festival. Apollo sighed. He'd been looking forward to this day for weeks. He'd planned to ask Starbuck something very important. Good thing he'd found out about the Lieutenant's infidelity before he'd actually asked him to get married. With a nod to Jolly, he got into his Viper and left the Galactica. Meanwhile, Starbuck was meeting his lover's son after Learning Period was over. "Hey, kiddo," he said to Boxey. "Did you finish that project I asked you about this morning?" "I sure did, Starbuck. All the kids helped. The teacher thought it was a really good idea to make a map of the Galactica." He handed Starbuck a piece of paper on which was drawn a diagram of the Battlestar. "This is part of a surprise for my dad?" "Yeah, it's a kind of treasure hunt," Starbuck explained. "I'm going to leave a note for him to find when he's finished patrol, and that note will lead him to another note, and that note to another, and so on until he finds the surprise I have for him." "What kind of surprise?" asked the boy excitedly. Starbuck hemmed a little. "Uh, that's a secret, Boxey. I know you can keep a secret, but just in case your dad asks you, it's better that you not know anything, then you can't lie to him." //Not to mention what I have planned is not for the ears of an eight-yahren-old boy.// "Okay, Starbuck," said Boxey, sounding disappointed. "Hey, guess what, I'm staying with my grandfather tonight. He's going to teach me about the Lords of Kobol." Starbuck grinned. He knew that Adama had been recruited for babysitting duty since Apollo and Athena would both be busy tonight. "That sounds great, Boxey. I'm looking forward to hearing about what you learn." Boxey gave Starbuck a hug. "I hope you and my dad have fun tonight, Starbuck. Happy Lover's Festival." "I'm sure we will, Boxey. Happy festival to you, too." Captain Apollo descended from his Viper and went through decontamination. As he was about to head back to his quarters, he saw an envelope on the floor with his name on it. Opening it, he discovered a note with a little poem on it, directing him to a location in the hydroponics lab. He supposed it was a little joke played on him by Boxey, probably with the help of Athena. With a shrug, he headed to hydroponics, where he found another message waiting for him. The 'clues' got more complex as he followed them, and finally he was led right back to his quarters, where, the note said, a 'surprise' was waiting for him. His sister *really* must be in on this, he thought. He entered his quarters, where he discovered candles carefully placed around the main living area, and a vase of flowers placed on a table. Paper arrows stuck to the floor led to his bedroom, where a very naked Starbuck was stretched out on the bed. "Happy Lover's Festival, Apollo," said the lieutenant. "What are you doing here?" asked Apollo in astonishment. "It's Lover's Festival," answered Starbuck in confusion. "Our first one, as a matter of fact. I wanted to make it special for you." Apollo picked up Starbuck's uniform from the floor and threw it at him. "Get dressed, and get out," he barked. "I don't have time for your games." "Games? I don't understand. What's the matter, 'Pol?" "You really don't get it, do you? I should have known by now that you're never going to settle down. Why are you even here? Why aren't you with *her* ?" "Her? Her who?" Starbuck was bewildered and a bit frightened. "Cassiopia. I saw the two of you together just yesterday." "Cassie? Yeah, I was with her, I wanted to ask her for advice on how to make today memorable for you." "You certainly succeeded in that! Now get out before I throw you out." Starbuck reluctantly complied. He couldn't understand how things could have changed between him and Apollo so quickly. Just because he'd talked to Cassie! He had never seen this jealous streak in his lover before. As he opened the door to leave, he turned back to Apollo. "Apollo?" he said pleadingly. "I love you, Apollo." "Leave," answered Apollo in a bitter voice. Starbuck left. Apollo sank to the bed and sobbed. Starbuck returned to his quarters, feeling like someone had just ripped his heart right out of his chest. Well, someone had, really. He couldn't remember ever feeling this low. He'd never had a woman break things off with him; he usually was the one who left. Was this how his ex-lovers had felt? If so, he was definitely scum to make them feel that way. He hoped that Athena and Cassie were having a better evening than he was. Meanwhile, hating the empty feeling of his quarters, Apollo decided that now would be a good time to get drunk. He headed over to the Rising Star, where he expected to find some other lonely old bachelors to keep him company. As he walked into the lounge, he saw some of his squadron at one of the tables. "Howdy, fellas," he said, faking cheer. "Mind if I join you?" "Go ahead, Captain," said Greenbean. "What are you doing here alone, Apollo?" asked Boomer. "Where's Starbuck?" "Starbuck and I are not joined at the hip, Boomer," replied Apollo. "Could've fooled me," Jolly interjected. "But it's Lover's festival, Apollo," Boomer continued. "I would think that you'd want to be together, seeing as how it's your first and everything." "First and last," the Captain muttered. Suddenly a loud voice cut through the chatter at the table. "Looky here, it's Captain Apollo! Where's your little boy toy, Captain?" asked Bojay. "Ignore him, Apollo," whispered Boomer. "Starbuck get tired of you already? Decided he didn't like bending over for his captain? Did he decide he didn't want to get fucked up the ass anymore?" Bojay's taunts got more and more offensive as he continued. Finally, Apollo stood up. "I suggest you leave, Bojay," he said. "And what are you going to do if I don't?" the other pilot challenged. "This," replied Apollo, and slugged him. Bojay staggered from the impact of Apollo's fist, but recovered quickly and returned the blow. Boomer leaped to his Captain's defense, as did several other members of the squadron. Bojay's friends did the same for him, and soon the lounge was full of drunk pilots swinging fists, chairs, and other pieces of furniture at each other. It was some time before order was restored. Apollo managed to return to the Galactica, and somewhat reluctantly went to the Life Center to have his injuries seen to. He was surprised to discover Cassiopia on duty. "Apollo! Why aren't you with Starbuck?" asked Cassie. "I was about to ask you the same thing, " answered Apollo with undisguised hostility. "Why would I be with Starbuck? It's Lover's Festival." "You just answered your own question," said Apollo as Cassie tended to his cuts and bruises. "Apollo, I'm going to have the doctor check you for a brain injury. You are making no sense." "Don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about. I saw the two of you together." "Huh? Saw who? Me and Starbuck? When?" "Yesterday. You and he seemed pretty friendly." "Apollo, Starbuck and I are friends, but all we are is friends. Starbuck is completely devoted to you, and if you can't see that, you *must* have brain damage. He came to see me yesterday to ask me for suggestions on making Lover's Festival special for you. When my shift is over, I'm going to be spending the evening with *my* lover - Athena." "You and my sister are lovers? Why hasn't she told me?" "She's been incredibly busy lately, Apollo. Her duties on the bridge take up a lot of her time, and she's training for more complex duties. I'm lucky I get to see her at all." Apollo groaned. "Cassie, I am so sorry. I blew it big time, didn't I?" Cassie patted Apollo's shoulder. "You sure did, pal. But I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. When did you last see Starbuck?" "When I threw him out of my quarters, a couple of centares ago." Cassie finished patching up Apollo's injuries. "Go find him, Apollo. Call it doctor's orders." Starbuck had also not wanted to spend the evening alone, but he didn't want to face his friends on the Rising Star. Remembering Boxey's plans for the evening, he decided to visit him and Commander Adama. Adama was surprised to see the Lieutenant, but he had long considered Starbuck another son, and welcomed him in. Boxey greeted him with a hug. "How did your surprise for my dad go, Starbuck?" "It didn't work out, Boxey. It wasn't your fault, your map and clues worked perfectly." "Well then, what happened?" the boy asked. "I guess your dad just didn't want to spend Lover's Festival with me," replied Starbuck. "Boy, my dad can be pretty stupid sometimes," grumbled Boxey. "Boxey, that's no way to talk about your father," admonished the Lieutenant. Overhearing Starbuck's conversation with his grandson, Commander Adama joined the two of them. "Boxey, would you and Muffit go in to the other room for a moment? I was sure I had some mushies in there, but I can't find them. I know that you trained Muffit to sniff them out, so.." Boxey jumped up before his grandfather had finished. "All right! Mushies! Let's go find them, Muffit!" and the boy and daggit ran into the other room, leaving Adama alone with Starbuck. "Do you want to tell me what happened, Starbuck?" asked the Commander gently. "I'm not even sure myself what happened," said Starbuck sadly. "I went to see Cassiopia yesterday to ask her for some suggestions on how to make Lover's Festival special for Apollo - I thought a woman's advice would be useful. She told me to make it 'fun' for both of us. I thanked her and gave her a hug. Apollo saw us together and he misinterpreted it - he thought Cassie and I were getting back together. I tried to explain to him, but he wouldn't listen." Adama sighed. "My son can be stubborn," he said. "I'm afraid Apollo has some trouble accepting when good things happen to him. He thinks that anything good is going to be taken away from him. He is afraid of losing you like he lost Zac, and his mother, and Serena. I'm not a mind reader, but I suspect he was taking out some of his insecurites on you, perhaps pushing you away before you leave him, or before he loses you in a battle." "I wasn't planning to leave him, and as for battles, well, I'm his wingman - he's in the best position of anyone to look out for me." "How about I speak for myself?" came a familiar voice. Apollo entered the Commander's quarters and approached his lover. "Apollo," said Adama in his best "Commander" tone. "I would like to talk to you." "I'll go see if Boxey has found the mushies yet," said Starbuck, excusing himself. "Father, I really would like to talk to Starbuck," Apollo protested. "First, I want you to talk to me," replied his father. "You know that I care about Starbuck. He's like a son to me. I've lost one son, and I don't want to lose another. I'm at a loss to explain why you've treated him this way. And I must admit, I'm disappointed." "Yeah, well, that's not new," muttered Apollo. "Pardon me?" asked the Commander in surprise. "You're always disappointed in me. Nothing I've ever done is good enough for you. It was the same with Zac. We knocked ourselves out trying to prove ourselves to you. But since you're the Commander, you don't dare say anything to me in case it looks like you're playing favourites." "Apollo, I had no idea you felt this way." "Of course you had no idea. You had no idea because you never pay any attention to me or what I do. I'm surprised you even noticed that Starbuck and I are lovers." "Son, I am sorry. I admit that I haven't been the best father that I could be. Being Commander of the Galactica as well as on the Council of Twelve took up most of my time even before the colonies were destroyed. Now not only am I Commander of a battlestar, I'm Commander of the *last* battlestar. And I'm the leader of what could be the last humans left in the Universe, who are expecting me to lead them to a planet that we only know about from ancient writings that are centuries old and possibly mythical. In a way, it's like I've become a father to the entire fleet. But still, that is no excuse for neglecting you and Athena. And I will tell you this: when you and Starbuck became lovers, I was happy for you. I should have told you that before now. The two of you are good for each other. And if you can stand some fatherly advice, let me tell you: don't lose him. Don't push him away. Don't let your fear stop you from committing to him. He loves you. And you love him. You see, I'm not entirely unobservant. And don't let a single day go by without telling him that you love him. My biggest regret will always be that I didn't tell your mother or Zac that I loved them before they were taken from me. But I can at least tell you: I love you, son. And I love Starbuck." Adama smiled. "End of lecture." Apollo wiped away a tear and hugged his father. "I love you too, Father," he said. "And I love Starbuck. And you're right; I am afraid of losing him. We've lost so many people we loved to this stupid war. I don't know what I would do if I lost him too." "Apollo, if you push him away, you *will* lose him. He will die, if not physically, then he will die inside. And so will you. I would hate to see that happen to either of you. Go talk to him. I'll look after Boxey." "Thank you," whispered Apollo, before he went to apologize to his lover. Commander Adama took Boxey to visit the Galactica's bridge, and Apollo and Starbuck were left alone. Apollo swallowed nervously. His mouth was suddenly dry. "Starbuck...." he started, then let his voice trail off. He didn't know what to say. Strabuck paced around the room. His heart was pounding. Part of him wanted Apollo to hurt as he had been hurt. But most of him didn't want anyone to feel the sort of pain he'd been feeling since Apollo had kicked him out. "Apollo," he said finally, "I love you. Nothing can ever change that. But what you did today hurt. It hurt a lot. " "I know. I'm sorry, Starbuck." "Do you, Apollo? Do you know? Do you know what it feels like to know that the man that you love more than anything doesn't trust you?" "I do trust you, Starbuck. I just..." "No, Apollo, you don't trust me. If you trusted me you wouldn't have blown up at me for going to see Cassie. I don't understand it. I'm your wingman. Every time we we go out on patrol, you put your life in my hands. You trust me with your life, but not with your heart." "I don't know what to tell you, except that I'm sorry." "Tell me why, Apollo. Tell me why you think I would sleep with Cassiopia when I have you. Tell me why you wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell you why I went to see her. Tell me why you don't believe in our love." Apollo groaned and sat down heavily on the couch. Starbuck hated to hear a such a painful sound coming from his lover, and wanted to go to him, put his arms around him, and tell him everything was all right. But everything wasn't all right, and he didn't think he could stand another rejection. He wouldn't survive. "Starbuck," Apollo said. "Before you and I became lovers, you have to admit that you had a reputation. Love 'em and leave 'em. I saw firsthand the way you tried to juggle my sister and Cassiopia. I was afraid that you would get tired of me, of having just one lover. I thought that you would miss playing the field and get bored with us, with me. I couldn't let myself hope that I would be enough for you." "'Pollo," sighed the Lieutenant. "I know that the way I treated Athena and Cassie was lousy. The way I treated a lot of the women I dated was lousy. I completely deserved my reputation. The only thing I can say in my own defense is that I didn't love them. Oh, I tried to convince myself that I did, but deep down I knew I didn't. The only person I ever loved, the only person I will ever love, is you. None of those women could ever have satisfied me because you were the one I truly loved and wanted. And now that I have you ... assuming I still do, which I'm not too sure about ... I could never, for one micron, even think about anyone else. " He knelt in front of Apollo. "Do you understand?" With a sob, Apollo reached out and drew Starbuck in to an embrace. Starbuck released the tears he had been holding back, and the two men cried in each others' arms. The door chime interrupted them. Wiping his face, Apollo got up and opened the door to reveal Athena and Cassiopia standing there with huge grins on their faces. "We came to see Father," said Athena. "Is he here?" "Uh no, he's not, he's on the bridge," answered Apollo. "Do you want me to call him?" "No, we'll go up there. But we may as well tell you our news first," replied his sister. Cassiopia went to where Starbuck was sitting. "Is everything all right?" she asked in concern. "It will be," the warrior answered. "We have a few things to talk over, but I think we're okay." "So what's your news?" Apollo asked impatiently. He loved his sister, but he really wanted to be alone with Starbuck. Athena took Cassie's hand in hers. "I asked Cass to marry me. She said yes." "That's wonderful! Congratulations!" Apollo exclaimed, hugging his sister and sister-in-law to be. Starbuck got up and congratulated them also. "When's the wedding?" Starbuck asked. "Not for a few cycles yet," answered Cassie. "We have a lot of plans to make. Will the two of you stand with us?" "I'd be proud to," stated Apollo. "Me too," added Starbuck. When the two women had finally left, Apollo turned to his lover. "Will you come back to my quarters with me? I have something for you." Starbuck grinned mischieviously. "You do, do you? Can't you give it to me here, or are you afraid the Commander and Boxey will come back?" Apollo laughed. "Well, I want to give you that too, but I want to give you something else first. My quarters?" Starbuck took his hand. "Sure thing," he said. "As a matter of fact, I have something for you, too. In addition to ... the other." Holding on to Starbuck's hand, Apollo led him to his quarters. When they were inside, he took the other warrior into his arms and held him tightly for a long time. "I love you, Starbuck," he said. "And I am sorry for hurting you." "I love you too, Apollo," answered his lover softly. He kissed Apollo gently, then drew back. He reached into the pocket of his jacket. "I have something for you. A gift for Lover's Festival." Apollo lay one hand on Starbuck's cheek. "You don't have to give me anything. Just having you here is more than I ever hoped for." Starbuck smiled and handed the package to the Captain. "Open it," he said. Apollo opened the small box. Inside was a bracelet. On one side was etched a pattern representing nine planets orbiting a single star. "It's the way the writings in the Books of Kobol describe Earth's star system," Starbuck explained. On the other side were engraved the words, "Starbuck and Apollo: Love always." "It's beautiful, Starbuck," said Apollo in a hushed voice. Starbuck lifted the bracelet out of its box and placed it on his lover's wrist, then took another box out of his pocket. "I had them make one for both of us," he said, and handed it to Apollo. The Captain put it on Starbuck's wrist, then kissed him. "I love you," he said. "And I have something for you, too." Apollo opened a drawer and withdrew a small jeweler's box. Opening it, he bent to one knee in front of his lover. "Starbuck, will you marry me?" Starbuck was speechless for a moment. Then he reached out and pulled Apollo to his feet. "Are you sure ?" he asked. "You really want to marry me?" "I do," Apollo replied. "Being without you for just one day made me realize how much I want you to be a permanent part of my life. I know I haven't acted like it, but I was so afraid you would say no, that you wouldn't want me...I tried to push you away. When I saw you with Cassie all I could think of was that she's a woman, and, well, it's more acceptable to be with a woman than to be with another man ..." Starbuck put his hand over Apollo's mouth. "Stop it," he said. "I love you. Not Cassie, not anyone else, man or woman. And yes, I will marry you." Apollo breathed a sigh of relief. Then the impact of what Starbuck had just said hit him. He whooped for joy, grabbed Starbuck and swung him around in a circle. "I swear you get more kinky every time we're together, Apollo," Starbuck laughed. "You haven't begun to see kinky yet, Bucko," his lover growled. A beep from the communications panel interupted them. Apollo answered it. He laughed and ended the message. "Looks like our makeup is going to have to wait a little while, my love," he said. Starbuck pouted. "Why?" he asked. "My father and Boxey have decided to throw a party in honour of Athena and Cassiopia's engagement. I think we should go and tell them they have another engagement to celebrate." Starbuck shrugged. He was disappointed, but Apollo's family was important to the both of them, and he wouldn't make Apollo choose between being with him and being with his family. "All right, let's go," he said. He pulled back the sleeve of his jacket so that his new bracelet was showing, as well as the ring Apollo had given him. "We have some jewelry to show off." Then he added, "But you had better be planning some major makeup sex when we get back." "You better believe it," laughed Apollo. "I still can't get the image of you sprawled naked on my bed out of my mind." The two men kissed briefly. "I love you, Starbuck. And I plan to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives." "I look forward to hearing it," answered Starbuck. "I love you, too." Apollo slung an arm across Starbuck's shoulders and they headed to the Commander's quarters to share their news with their family. END